Saturday 18 January 2020

Bong, bong, bong...


What I can't understand, is the problem with Big Ben's bongs.

I know the dear old tower is under wraps for renovation, and that it's an expensive job as well as a technically challenging project to make it all safe and secure for the next few years, but why can't we hear any bongs?

Just because a few political pricks kick up a fuss about some weird idea in their fuzzy collection of frayed brain cells, it wouldn't take Scroblene Inc. long to suggest a replacement while the clock and it's chimes are being renovated.

I've only been to a few open air concerts for music (all Genesis, with Elder Daught), and the expertise of the sound engineers at places like Knebworth and Twickenham was second to none, (although the first song at Knebworth in 1993 - 'Land of confusion', was a bit suspect for the first few bars, then rapidly repaired).

I'd have thought that there were enough good sound engineers, display professionals and general good guys and gals to fix up a recording of the famous bongs for all to hear at the appropriate time, preferably built into the scaffolding structure to remind everyone that the old place still exists, despite the shenanigans of the blokes and wokes who infest the interior on occasions! Even if it wasn't possible to make the thing as loud as it used to be, at least the general public close by, could listen to a great piece of British history!

But of course, it probably won't happen, as it's too easy to think about...

8 comments:

goosegirl said...

Mr Scribe. Somehow our few remaining brain cells have somehow fused despite the miles between us. Surely someone with a bit of nous can arrange for a recording of Big Ben's Bongs that will not only come out of the tower where it is currently housed because the scaffolding could be used like a trumpet with one of those reeds you need to insert then blow down it so the sounds of the bongs can diverted down the metal tubes to create a new kind of music for 2020. Augustus Pugin might roll over in his grave and he sure wouldn't like the sound of pan pipes, so can someone persuade Brian May to come down from the palace roof to get his guitar going like never before then we "May" find some music worth listening to instead of these yodelling singers who can't hold a tune.

A K Haart said...

Maybe it would be possible to turn the London Eye into a huge directional speaker aimed at the EU.

Scrobs. said...

Now Goosey, a Brian May 'bong' solo is the answer!

It would do more for tourism than anything! Forget pan pipes though, there used to be some bloke doing these dirges non-stop in Canterbury, and after the first few seconds, they became at first irritating, then hideously boring, then requiring an indication that he might like to use another orifice to make the bloody things work, and preferably somewhere else several miles away...

Scrobs. said...

Now that is also a superb suggestion, Mr H!

Would that nice Mr Dyson design one? I still don't understand how he can make a fan work from some sort of loo seat suspended on old knicker elastic!

goosegirl said...

Mr H, your post has just hit the nail right on the head. What better way to celebrate our independence by having various Roman candles and other appropriate fireworks which could be lit using an Olympic torch carried by Boris who then does a bungee jump from the top accompanied by Brian May playing "We are the Champions." There might be a bit of a smell of Cordite in the morning after but it will soon blow away and clear the air for someone who has stuck by his guns to get our country back to where it should have been before EU stuck its neb in and started telling us what we can and can't do. Which guns he chooses to use I don't know, but may I suggest a Martini Henry that trounced the Zulus in Rorke's Drift. Whether their Martinis were shaken or stirred I don't know, but as Lance Corporal Jones in Dad's Army said many times "They don't like it up them."

Scrobs. said...

"Which guns he chooses to use I don't know, but may I suggest a Martini Henry that trounced the Zulus in Rorke's Drift."

It's the anniversary today, Goosey!

Men of Harlech an' all that!

goosegirl said...

…. as in

"Men of Harlech. Stand ye steady.
Pull your leeks and then be ready
For the Brexit day is coming
And so say all of us.

Unfurl your pennants. Hoist them high.
Let EU hear our battle cry.
We've got our nation back at last
And so say all of us.

At last we've got someone who did it
So let's give him lots of credit.
He strode through all the battle cries
And so say all of us.

And on that final day let's cheer
And raise a glass or two of rum.
If the Scots don't like it then
We'll stick a thistle up their bum!

And so say all of us.
And so say all of us.
For he's a jolly good fellow
And so say all of us.







Scrobs. said...

"Unfurl your pennants. Hoist them high."
"If the Scots don't like it then"

Little bit of Hibernian distaste there, Goosey, but easily understood, and in fact welcomed!