Wednesday 29 May 2019

Water under the bridge...

Well, I'm so pleased to report that Theresa May took my advice, and assured us of her resignation!

As I always maintain, this blog is a broad church, luckily attracting several broads (sexist sod), but she really was on her leopard-skin uppers, and in need of a tincture somewhere nice, like Iceland.

Watching the 'race' to become leader, I've decided to run myself, as the exercise will do me good, and I have a lot to offer the country, indeed, give my life savings to everyone personally, even those unfortunates who will be out of a job after the next election, and when I'm Chancellor, I will serve under Lord Sir Marquis Farage, Count of England, and the World, and my hero for being : -

a) A businessman who understands commercial risk
b) A serious contender for leadership against all odds, by being honest

and

c) The next Prime Minister.

Other than all that, it rained today, and all the work I've been doing to free up the water-saving devices on my downpipes is only half-complete. A couple of pipes are still blocked, probably up at the swan-neck at the top of the pipe, so its ladder-work tomorrow.

If this blog doesn't reappear in a week's time, it means I fell off...

8 comments:

A K Haart said...

I'm not surprised that Theresa May took your advice but you must have said some hard words to get her blubbing like that. Still if it gets results...

goosegirl said...

Having imbibed a few tinctures this last hour or so I am reminded of a favourite childhood book of mine that mentions a game called "Pooh Sticks" which is not to be confused with the annual (or should that be anal) examination of the various outputs from one's digestive system. There are so many people coming out of the woodwork at the moment which makes me wonder what wet rot, dry rot, and other windy verbosities might we hear when they emerge from the other side. It's a case of who sinks or swims and who's the first to jump in the river to retrieve their Pooh Sticks. There's nothing like foraging but no way am I going to eat nettle soup!

Scrobs. said...

Seeing the quality (?) of some of the 'contestants', Mr H, I would think that she would jump for joy!

There is a list as long as your arm, and I only recognise a few, but understand that some funny-looking little guy in a raincoat is touring the BBC studios, so presumably he's going to be at the bottom of the list in no time!

Scrobs. said...

Pooh sticks was invented close to here, Goosey!

Dear Brian Jones (27) popped off after a few tinctures an' stuff, and a memorable Private Eye 'cartoon' savagely portrayed Winnie the Pooh and Piglet, staring down at a body floating under the bridge, with the caption 'It doesn't look like Eyeore to me'.

Not in the best possible taste...

Scrobs. said...

I'm hoping Elton John will be happy running his shows in countries where his 'sort' aren't 'offending' any 'laws'...

I used to like some of his stuff, and even bought some tracks from Caribou, but I have no need to be told by him, that I'm an idiot.

Silly old fart should just bugger (?) off, and let the real world proceed, there's no need for the likes of him, that silly actress woman, and fat uglies like Emila Thronberi to get involved in the future of our country!

goosegirl said...

Mike? Are you telling me A. A. Milne lived near you or is it the place where they create those cardboard jobbies (no pun intended) that inevitably come through your door in a sealed envelope? As we're intending to move to a different home that has a private view over Lancaster Canal, I would be more than happy to spend my last days playing Pooh-sticks with my great-niece and great-nephew so they will have a barrier made from memories of how the simplest things in life can mean so much more than the crap kids are exposed to nowadays. Who's the guy in the raincoat? Not the one that flashed a lady who then said "Ooh that reminds me, I must go to Aldi and get some mini-pretzels."

Scrobs. said...

Goosesuper, here are some details of the lovely place!

https://www.housebeautiful.com/uk/lifestyle/property/news/a1219/aa-milne-home-for-sale-winnie-the-pooh/

Ashdown Forest is about half an hour from here, and a treasured spot in an otherwise crowded South East area.

I always wondered, but is the Lancaster Canal, or any other for that matter, a 'flowing' water? My dear sister loved canals, and although they've sold their boat, they went everywhere, including that high bastard somewhere in North Wales, or thereabouts...

goosegirl said...

I don't think they flow as such, there just there as a waterway from the past because they used to transport barges laden with cargo which were pulled by horses from both sides of the walkway path.