As to be expected, with tiresome regularity, there was uproar at the Special Community and Environs sort of Meeting, hastily held at the village hall by Sodden Prickney Village Council, about the revelations of the contents of PC Lumbersnatch's saddle bag on his police bicycle.
On inspection of the said container by two worthies of our village, Cliff Dumpling and Wayne Boggis, (no relation), several photographs and cuttings from a rather nasty, locally distrubuted periodical, 'Cor - bigguns', there were some recognisable faces to be viewed by one or two, (bollocks, it was everyone in the sodding village - Ed), citizens who are rather more involved with tea-time discussions on knitting, and cookery from Indonesia.
Cllr Basil Kalashnikov, who is well-known as an exponent of bicyclism whenever he gets the opportunity, had been found to have slipped a certain member of the council a few quid to keep quiet about the emails and hard copies, but to no avail! The secret was out! Cllr Baggage had indeed been involved with an inebriated game of 'Twister' with Cllrs Groat, D'Artagnan-Minge, Newt (twice), Dr Norbert Iodine and also Molestrangler and Wibble!
These sepia-enhanced photographs had now disclosed the disgraceful behaviour of all councillors, and the question remained as to why the others on the panel, Amelia Newt and Sid Trumpet, weren't invited to the charade!
Ms Baggage denied any involvement, although it's well-known that her proclivities tend to demur otherwise, (so Cllr Wibble maintains), but resigning matters for gross impropriety in office are now being considered by PC Lumbersnatch's superiors on the evidence of his bicycle being seen outside Ms Baggage's maisionette, with an open flap over the rear mudguard!
