Monday, 19 April 2010

The ultimate spin...

In the beginning was the Plan.

And then came the Assumptions.

And the Assumptions were without form.

And the Plan was completely without substance.

And the Darkness was on the faces of the Employees.

And they spoke unto their Supervisors saying "It's a Crock of Sh*t and it Stinketh!"

And the Supervisors went unto their Department Heads and sayeth "It's a Pail of Dung, and none may abide the odour thereof."

And the Department Heads went unto their Managers, and sayeth unto them "It is a Container of Excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."

And the Managers went unto their Director and sayeth "It is a Vessel of Fertilizer, and none may abide its Strength."

And the Director went unto the Vice President and sayeth "It contains that which aids Plant Growth, and it is very Strong."

And the Vice President went to the Executive Vice President and sayeth "It promoteth Growth, and it is very Powerful."

And the Executive Vice President went to the President and sayeth "This Powerful New Plan will actively promote the Growth and Efficiency of the System."

And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was Good.

And the Plan became Policy.

And the Policy became Law.

9 comments:

Blue Eyes said...

But just look at the growth*!!

* in prices, unemployment, debt, insecurity, GCSE grades, etc..

Scrobs... said...

Nice one Blues!

Like all growths, it needs a pretty sharp scalpel too...

And often!

Trubes said...

Reminds me of the Blaster Bates's tale of the Blowing up of a cesspit....Words to the effect of ..
'The shower of shit over Cheshire'
it gathered momentum and totally obliterated the county.
'Tis on Youtube..very funny..but most apt in the present current political atmosphere.

Hi Scrobs...I'm back..been laid low re health probs.

Di.xx

Electro-Kevin said...

Chinese whispers.

Hu Flung Dung ...

Murdered by his brother Hu Flung Shit.

Scrobs... said...

Blaster Bates has a huge chunk of the Scrobs' family history Trubes (Glad to see you by the way, and hope all's well now...)!

My Uncle Bill had all the records in the early days, and we still marvel on your story, as well as when he warmed up his pie in the ovens at a crematorium...

He really wsa a very funny man, and I'm straight over to Youtube, as soon as I've replied to Elecs, who seems to have posted a rude word...

Scrobs... said...

Elecs, I couldn't agree more...

Unfortunately, the Chinese restaurant near (not too near thank goodness) 'The Turrets' still keeps plodding on - I really hoped that everyone would get tired of the slop they turn out, but - nope!

Scrobs... said...

Trubes, it's this one...

Ha ha ha...

rvi said...

A most succinct description of why we do not need so many layers of
management in the public services

Scrobs... said...

Quite right Reevers!

I always apply the simple yardstick - that if they weren't being paid to create such waffle, would they still do it?

Presumably, if they had to dut their own hands in their pockets each time they caused mayhem, they may just think again...

That's if they still have half a brain cell that is...