Saturday, 25 April 2015

Tim Satchell's handwriting...

Many years ago, when I was at school, our collective handwriting ranged from the reasonably neat to the absolutely unreadable and appalling scrawl! Mine was a cross between Jennings and Molesworth after several tinctures...

Our Headmaster tried to encourage us to learn the Italic method, and we all bought those square nib dip pens, and the inkwell monitor worked overtime before prep, but it was never to be, and I reverted to my spidery, wiggly writing! One day, a few years later, I had some sort of St Paul moment, and grabbing a green biro, immediately and totally changed my writing style to the one which I still use, sloping forward, and slightly above the line! It was during a history lesson, and to this day, I don't understand why it happened, but it did!

But there was one chap at school, who changed all this! Tim Satchell was slightly older than me, and he was a lovely guy back then, being artistic and sporting as well as friendly to everyone. He decided to reinvent his handwriting, by taking samples of everyone he could ask, and choosing the best bits of each style! He was meticulous in his method of choosing each letter, and adapting it to his own requirements.

And he actually succeeded, handsomely, and his handwriting became something of a wonder, because it was neat, even, and of course, easily read! I hope he kept it up, as he became a journalist, and did columns occasionally for the London press, and a few years ago did an article about getting MS, so I hope he has the slow one, not the quick and nasty one...

I found his signature in my old autograph book (remember them), the other day! He said he'd be famous one day!

Well he is in my book!

Saturday, 18 April 2015

With no apologies - 'Chinese Ovens'...


The other day, while queueing to pay for some petrol, I stood alongside the retail shelves with all manner of items, like chocolate and spanners. The stuff above just made me start to giggle, and by the time I went to pay, I was nearly a gibbering wreck!

Years ago, a very old chum used to tell me of his escapades in Australia. One of these was to go out on the town to sink a minimum of eight pints of Guinness, then go on for a Chinese or an Indian. The best part of the evening was for everyone to cram into one car, and drive home WITH ALL THE WINDOWS CLOSED!

Now that sounds like a game and a half to me...

Thursday, 9 April 2015

Down on The Farm...



Posting has been sparse recently, because there's so much to do down on 'The Patch', and also round the village, where a newly retired Scrobs is required to do this and that!

So here's a pic of 'The Patch', to show that at least the spades, forks and tillers have been doing their jobs, aided and abetted by Mrs Scroblene, who is a dab hand at couch-removal, and also catching a chum's stray chickens (not ours), and inserting them back through the hole in their netting...

Life is just too good...

Thursday, 26 March 2015

Melon and ginger...

Many years ago, when Scrobs was a miniature Scrobs, Dad would be driving from Sussex to Worcestershire on a regular, weekly basis, and if he left Bodiam late, he'd be arriving at a pub near Kingsclere around lunchtime!

So during the school holidays, a younger Scrobs would be seated next to the main man, who was driving his column-change Vauxhall Cresta at a rate of knots, and arriving at the pub around beer-o-clock!

And we'd have a fruity starter, then a mains of their famous chicken and ham pie, with several side dishes of salad and the rest, with, of course, a couple of pints of local ale. Dad enjoyed a pipe afterwards, so I would pop up a Gold Leaf, and we'd be ready for the next couple of hours on the road.

So even today, as a smouldering Scrobs spoons his way through the rest of an over-ripe melon, smothered with ginger, the days roll back, and England can be thought of just as if it was only yesterday...

Friday, 20 March 2015

Erratic driving...

A.K.Haart's post on erratic driving HERE reminds me of an incident several years ago, on the M2 near Faversham.

I used to turn off onto the road down into Canterbury on most mornings, and one particular journey was a nightmare! I was going up the slip road, to the roundabout which straddles the M2, and the car in front, a big Volvo, seemed to veer from side to side, and much more than appeared normal. I noticed him get round the roundabout, almost - and he clipped the kerb losing a bit of bodywork in the process. He then drove back down the opposite slip road onto the M2 towards Thanet onto the same road he'd just left!

I had a single chance to follow him, and consider, just as Mr Haart did, what to do next. He got back on the dual carriage-way, and sped off, sometimes in one lane or the next one. I tried to stop people overtaking me, as he was really a serious threat, and I was getting pretty worried as well, so I rang the police (corded car-phone, no hands free), and got through to tell them what was happening, as there was the makings of a nasty pile-up and I was the only witness! We were all travelling at about sixty mph, and I was driving one handed, because of the phone.

After a couple of miles, he went right off the road, hit a lamp post, which fell into the road, luckily missing everyone, and then ran the car into the hedge! The door opened, and he ran off, then RAN BACK! I gave the police the last bit of info and went off to see what was up, as he was seriously in some sort of trouble.

It wasn't drink or drugs, as after seeing him in a pool of perspiration and smelling his breath there sure signs of diabetes everywhere on the poor chap! Some other drivers had stopped, and we got him under some sort of control, and found some sugary sweets to get down his throat, but he then had a fit, so we really had to hold him down. I couldn't find any special ID which diabetics carry, and got someone to run to the nearby Little Chef for some sugary tea, which we tried to get him to take, with not much success. The ambulance arrived, and they got him in the back, while the police sorted out the car.

But the final twist was this...

I went up to the ambulance, for a final thank you to the guys there, and asked how the poor chap was. One of the crew just said, "Oh, he'll be fine, WE'RE GIVING HIM SOME INSULIN"!

Scrobs exploded! "YOU WHAT? It's the LAST thing he needs right now you just can't do that"!

Luckily, the other crew member came back and realised the error his mate had uttered, and confirmed that they wouldn't be doing that of course, he needed the opposite, but it really was a bit of a nightmare scenario to finish up an already dodgy morning...

(Hope you don't mind me interfering with your post Mr H!)


Sunday, 1 March 2015

White Rabbits...

History states that one utters the words 'White Rabbits', as soon as possible on the first day of March...

Or at least, that's what my dear sister has always said, and she should know!

It's also St David's Day, so after yesterday's success, it's a pretty good moment for Wales!