Thursday 31 December 2009

Congratulations Lils and Elbers...

Mr Elias Sagtrouser has been supplying some various commodities to the local church, (like lead - for the third time this year...), and when he heard that Lils and Elbers were about to tie the knot, he arranged for a few of the lads to turn up and clonk out a little tune for the happy couple...

Here is a short piece to celebrate a great day for two lovely people!

Sunday 27 December 2009

Lux aeterna...

About this time of year, several of the house of Scrobs popped off and left this mortal coil.

This goes round the old grey matter about now, and won't stop for a few days yet...

If you can listen beyond 2.07 then you're in for a treat!

Monday 21 December 2009

Hearts and Hands...

I'm sure charities get a boost around this time of year, as thoughts of giving are pretty well up there, and it becomes easier to be generous in spirit as well.

Here's an odd one then...

During WW2, the three cottages which stood on the site of the present 'Turrets', were demolished by a V2 flying bomb, and about thirty other houses were badly blown about as well, including the church behind us. It went off in the air at about fifty feet, and was an unpleasant awakening for all the local citizens, none of whom were hurt thankfully, because it happened very early in the morning.

The current 'Turrets' was built in the early fifties, with all the restraints of post-war shortages like hardly any timber in the roof, and the odd weak patches in the floors, but it now looks in pretty good shape, apart from a few things which Mrs S has instructed me to do over the holiday, like a little paving, and painting everything that doesn't move etc...

But, the garden still retains signs of the old houses, like an old mossy wall here, and stone steps and a foundation there. When we built the greenhouse, we found some of the old foundations of one cottage, with the drains still in the ground, so we just dug round them and left them all in place.

While digging the patch, I am always finding bits of clay pipe (a previous inhabitant of the Turrets site was the Church Warden, so he obviously was not averse to a few tilts at the old St Bruno), and other things like buttons, coins etc., which also go with the plot. There are also bits of gravestone with just a few words still scattered about, so the old V2 did quite a lot of damage!

One day though, I found this...




It is a tiny stamp, similar to that on a signet ring, but set in metal, and with a tiny loop so it could be attached to a watch chain. These were used to mark sealing wax on deeds, documents, letters etc.

(Owing to the impossible photographic qualities of the 'Webley-Bullock Boer War Bellows Camera, with walnut veneered tripod, and built in emergency tincture flask', the actual stamp just does not come out well, but a quick splunge into some White Tack shows this, which isn't much better...)



The image is a Heart in a Hand, with the words 'Love' and 'Truth' on either side. It took only a little Googling to find that these two words, together with the symbol, are closely associated with The Shakers in the US, and also The Oddfellows in the UK as well.

From the 1700s and the 1800s, right up to the bombing, the smallest of the three cottages was used as a local shop, where a dear old lady sold sweets which she made herself. It was also sometimes used as a store, where left over grain from the local market was kept, and, it is strongly rumoured locally, it was used as a Penny Bank! These banks were sometimes provident societies, or plain savings banks, where restrictions on savings kept accounts down to a level like £150 p.a. They were often sub-branches of the larger banks, and did a useful job in the community. They also had a strong asociation with Friendly Societies across the country - like The Oddfellows!

It was only this week, that I had a long chat with a local historian, who is well into his eighties about all this, and because he ran the local shop for years, he knows everything about the village. He is very excited about this find, because he told me that just a few yards from here are two houses, which were once known as 'Oddfellows Cottages'.

But this is as far as the story goes, and because there are so many unanswered questions, it seems to fit the season of good cheer, in that I'm thinking 'Charity', and 'Goodwill', 'Love' and 'Truth', not to mention that I may just be digging out there one day, and stick the spade right down into a long-forgotten vault stacked with piles of gold splonders...

Mrs S and I are going to be Grandparents in the spring, and we are on cloud nine for this fabulous news, so, from the Scrobs' household, may I wish everyone who calls by here a happy and enjoyable Christmas, and hope for renewed strength and prosperity in 2010.

Friday 18 December 2009

Scroblantis, the new discovery...

There have been some amazing revelations about the discovery of the lost city somewhere deep under the River Thames.

Recent exploration by O'Blene Industries Inc, with special cameras supplied by the veteran explorer and provider of exploring requisites, Elias Webley-Bullock, (no relation), has uncovered a huge previously unknown underwater metropolis which may date back even to 1997.

In these grainy images, one can just make out the large buildings which were originally built to house the expense claim forms of the ruling Elders, the enormous tower built by Emperor Blully-Liar, ostensibly to turn into luxurious apartments for his minions, (Toadienses Arsoles), and other members of his sith, (The Despised).

Only now, can these pictures be revealed, (below) as it has taken many months to edit (redact) the computer generated images into some sort of excuse for a reason to enjoy the many grainy films which will be shown/repeated/repeated/repeated/redacted on the BBC (People's Pratwatch) this Christmas.

One can just make out the ugly old letter box which used to be situated in a small street off the thoroughfare believed to have been called Whitehell, the two Jaguarienses chariots (now abandoned), which were used by some fat bloke who was utterly useless at everything he did, and a medieval pig trough, large enough to feed 646 animals. Some of the pictures (grainy), even show a shoal of Blinker Fish which invariably mate with Gulper Fish, but these cannot be shown here as they may include images of children and/or policemen.

Historic records are scarce for this period, as shredders hadn't been invented, well, neither had electricity, so most documents which had to be kept away from the public eye were just burned, together with a few peasants who may have been passing by and used as kindling.

However, the Webley-Bullock Microscopic Zoom Lens actually picked out a scrap of parchment which proved that Scroblantis actually existed all those years ago. What the scrap also explained was the probable reason why the lost city was doomed to the waves.

Someone in Whitehell leaked...

Scroblantis through the looking glass...


Scroblantis with unexplained graphics...

Monday 14 December 2009

Caption competition...



Meccano Sagtrouser's cousin, with friend...

Thursday 10 December 2009

Mr Binks, the sequel...

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Latest pic of the bear in question...

Wednesday 9 December 2009

Mr Binks...

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And I've still got him...

Thursday 3 December 2009

Another day at the office...

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Hellfire; that speedy stretch just outside London Bridge will just not be the same again...

Scrobs is off to the City today, to see a couple of new sites, meet the Partners for a resume of how we'll beat the bastard Brown's policy of trying to cheat and ruin everyone, consider the business plan of an intriguing Jewish Rabbi, meet some more property people, (including the stunningly lovely lady who seems to appear about now every year, like The Angel of Lourdes, to help me out of my raincoat while I'm on the mowbawl), and probably approach incoherence after Xmonius Thronging with about 150 similar reprobates.

The car is safely embedded in the drive and the good people of Kent will regard with tireless sufferance, the return of a shambling, gibbering wreck later today - probably on foot - possibly arriving back at the Turrets after Mrs S and JRT have gone to bed, and starving hungry for about a pound of cheese, some of that funny brown bread in the pantry, a two inch layer of Lurpak, all the Branston in the gallon jar, a final 'Cleanser' if it's still in the fridge, and an unloading of all the cards, notes, keys, and other pocket detritus, about which I'll probably recall absolutely nothing!

It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it...