Thursday, 3 December 2009

Another day at the office...

...

Hellfire; that speedy stretch just outside London Bridge will just not be the same again...

Scrobs is off to the City today, to see a couple of new sites, meet the Partners for a resume of how we'll beat the bastard Brown's policy of trying to cheat and ruin everyone, consider the business plan of an intriguing Jewish Rabbi, meet some more property people, (including the stunningly lovely lady who seems to appear about now every year, like The Angel of Lourdes, to help me out of my raincoat while I'm on the mowbawl), and probably approach incoherence after Xmonius Thronging with about 150 similar reprobates.

The car is safely embedded in the drive and the good people of Kent will regard with tireless sufferance, the return of a shambling, gibbering wreck later today - probably on foot - possibly arriving back at the Turrets after Mrs S and JRT have gone to bed, and starving hungry for about a pound of cheese, some of that funny brown bread in the pantry, a two inch layer of Lurpak, all the Branston in the gallon jar, a final 'Cleanser' if it's still in the fridge, and an unloading of all the cards, notes, keys, and other pocket detritus, about which I'll probably recall absolutely nothing!

It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it...

16 comments:

Philipa said...

Your repast sounds better than the late night snack I had last night - french toast but I couldn't be bothered to wash the frying pan (somthing I usually fussy about) after frying bacon and mushrooms in it that morning and it tasted disgusting with occasional bits of charcoal. So I smothered it in Tescos finest pasta salad with chicken and bacon but that didn't work, so I went back and heaped on humous and finally Thai sweet chilli sauce which smothered any other taste. Then I ate the lot. Including the bits of charcoal.

This morning I had to pop to ASDA and ate a mega breakfast. I am so fat. I crave fruit juice. You may now feel virtous, Scrobs.

Blue Eyes said...

Sunds gud! Hic!

El-Kevo said...

Keep some Rennie at the ready.

;-)

lilith said...

We are all counting on you Scrobs

Thud said...

Rennie may not do the job...have gaviscon on standby.

Scrobs... said...

Urghhh...

Urghhhhhhhhh...

URGhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

U_R_G_H_H_H_H_H_H_H_H.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Metody Jankowiak said...

Now season of drunken good cheer is now upon us, is wise to not really start drinking until home safe in caravan.
Last Christmas Metody was in Swansea and came upon Pole dancing club, and true there were many ladies there who were Poles, but he was wery different from disco. As when Metody got up to dance with lady he was tackled by big man in tight suit, and then police was called.

The Lakelander said...

Scrobs: this is absolute genius and it's how we can make our fortune...

We'll come up with the first combination cookery and keep fit DVD.

The target market will be people who come back from the pub after a night on the lash and, having failed to find a kebab shop on the way home, are starving hungry (50% of the UK adult population, so it's a big market.)

They need substantial, tasty, hi carb and hi salt food that has a low risk of setting themselves on fire. Pot Noodles for the 21st century, as it were.

The next morning, they need an exercise routine that will make them feel much better (starting with a vigorous barf into the bog, followed by a swift fifty.)

For our "lead", I believe that the Beast of Clerkenwell is available for the right price.

Scrobs... said...

Pips, this is culinary excellence, and clearly a recipe which makes Delia sound like Waynetta Slob describing a 'less haigh' pizza!

Pity about the charcoal though, that really could be a problem when you go in for a de-coke...

Or you may get a fall of soot...

Scrobs... said...

Lils, Thudders, Blues and Elecs-bass, they're all still there in the cupboard...

It was a great day, and made all the better for remembering the oldest trick in the book!

Partner and I had to go and see some land in City Road, and we were due to meet at 11.30am.
Because it is easy to forget to eat at the bashes we have, I'd insured the Scrobs body and soul with a 1:3 concretely solid cheese sandwich, made from some bread which tastes like a library book, but has all the necessary ingredients and minerals to keep a man going for up to eight months!

Partner as usual, had forgotten breakfast and was ready to eat the hind leg off a donkey, and it was raining and cold, so, after inspecting said site, we repaired to the Italian Deli near the HAC, where he demolished two hero bacon rolls and a gallon of tea while I watched...

Then we got stuck in to the Davys No 1.

And...

It didn't hurt one little bit!

Not a whimper!

And Mrs S and I carried on a normal conversation for ages!

Old ones are the best eh...

Scrobs... said...

Metody, it is indeed a pleasure to hear from you again, and thank you for reminding me that that is where I left my briefcase when I was in Swansea last March...

It is a tight suit isn't it!

If you're still there, can you pop down to the Fiat dealership, and mention my name to the Guvnor there please?

I was at school with him and owe him a big hello!

Scrobs... said...

Lakes! You are indeed the saviour of the Late Night Cheese Grasping fraternity!

The body excercise is actually included in the scheme, because the whole issue requires one to go to bed on all fours, thereby allowing the muscles to contract and relax a few times before oblivion sets in!

And think of the dreams one can have after eight pints, and a 'Volume-three-of-Shakespeare's-collected-Tiger-Woods-jokes sandwich' as described above! Why, you could go anywhere like on holiday, meet the oddest people, and still be at home when you wake up!

Your idea is a msterstroke, and if Lils could just mention this to The Hitch when she next sees him, we are all on a winner!

OK by you Lils?

Elbers could also bring the Robbos too...

BTW Elbers, Business Partner (described above as hungry and cold) used to deal with the Robinsons brewery years ago. Their pubs were extraordinary and he loved the dignity and old-fashioned manner of business! Mrs S has bought me two botles of a Robinsons dark ale which has an ABV of around 115%, so we're all in for a surprise!

Philipa said...

The body excercise is actually included in the scheme, because the whole issue requires one to go to bed on all fours, thereby allowing the muscles to contract and relax a few times before oblivion sets in!

Are those muscles the ones that contract and relax like a rabbits nose, Scrobs? It's all that cheese.

Scrobs... said...

AwwwPips - yer not wrong...

Seen this?

http://video.telegraph.co.uk/services/player/bcpid1529569286?bctid=5524339001

Scrobs... said...

Sorry Pips - forgot the HTML bit...

Shoild be here it is in all it's glory...

Philipa said...

Excellent. I liked Brock best.