It Snowed Last Night...
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 – A feminist passed
by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:15 – So, I made a snow
woman.
8:17 – My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman’s
voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 – The gay
couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow
men instead.
8:22 – The transgender man...women…person asked why I didn’t just
make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 – The vegans at the end of
the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to
decorate snow figures with.
8:28 – I was being called a racist because the
snow couple is white.
8:31 – The middle eastern gent across the road demanded
the snow woman be covered up.
8:40 – The Police arrived saying someone had
been offended.
8:42 – The feminist neighbour complained again that the
broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a
domestic role.
8:43 – The council equality officer arrived and threatened me
with some sort of writ.
8:45 – TV news crew from the BBC showed up. I was asked if I know
the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied “Snowballs” and am now
called a sexist.
9:00 – I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist,
homophobe and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult
weather.
9:10 – I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken
by social services. (bit silly that, they're in their forties).
9:29 – Far left protesters offended by everything marched
down the street demanding for me to be arrested.
Moral:
There is no moral
to this story. It is what we have to put up with, all because of snowflakes.
h/t bbbc
