Wednesday, 19 November 2008

New words, part something-or-other...

Lils came out with a great new word recently, proving that she is indeed a world beating authority on the subject of observing an action and giving an old word a new meaning.

The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. The winners are:


1. Coffee (N.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (V.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (V.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (Adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (Adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (V.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (N.), olive-flavoured mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (N.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (N.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (N.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (N.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (N), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (N.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (N.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (N.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

33 comments:

idle said...

I particularly liked Oyster. Woody Allen could have thought that one up.

Ms Smack said...

HAHAHA very clever.

electro-kevin said...

Innuendo - Spanish suppository.

Scrobs said...

Idle - yup; a goodun!

He could also have said 'Oedipus, Shmoedipus, what does it matter if you love your mother...' ;0)

Scrobs said...

Hi Smackers - thanks!

Elecs, that's crude, rude, and socially unacceptable - but very funny!

idle said...

GUILT n. The fact of being responsible for the issuance of worthless UK Government securities.

Scrobs said...

Idle - Ha ha ha!

How about:-

Manager (n) Woman. (Think about it)

rvi said...

YOU OWE ME A NEW KEYBORD!!!!!


wv: unrefel (unsold sethafrikan raffle tickets? or no more for you, you've had enough?)

Lucien Modo said...

R.N.L.I. (greeting between two Rastafarians).

Lucien Modo said...

I got so excited I forgot some of the words that I was supposed to write.

R.N.L.I. (nautical greeting between two Rastafarians).

Tuscan Tony said...

Kumquat - the mysterious stain on a vet's breeks after castratiing a farm animal.

wverify: bulate - the man who couldn't help thinking of baseball at the bukkake party.

idle said...

FELLATIO: a lumberjack in ancient Rome

Scrobs said...

Ha ha ha Idle!

Revetment (n) Canine vasectomy reversal.

Scrobs said...

Tuscs - nice ones there -

Crustacean (n), The solid state of a curry left in the sink and discovered twenty-four hours later...

Scrobs said...

Lucien - welcome back!

Porcupine (n) The further stages of tree hugging...

Scrobs said...

Reevers - good one there -

'Ugly duckling' (n) The sound one makes when the dentist pokes his nasty wooden spatula too far down onto the rear of the tongue.

Just try it!!

Scrobs said...

Elecs - goodun there...

Budgen (v) !o gently push the next person in front of you to make them see that it is their turn to be checked out.

Barnsley Bill said...

super shot that.
Abdicate... living the dream myself.

idle said...

Melanoma: The girl considered too ugly for the Spice Girls

Daisy said...

excellent...i am going to have to remember some of those for future reference :)

rvi said...

Idle: Was Fellatio related to Grammaticus - English language teacher (primer?) for Romans?

lilith said...

Myopia, the Greek Goddess of Love...

lilith said...

Madonna - an irate kebab

A Carpenter said...

Dick Emery - don't ask; you really don't want to know!

mutleythedog said...

I cannot think of any...

Mrs Smallprint said...

Nulab taxcut - unforseen pain in the rear.

Usually requiring an electro-kevin style cure.

Mrs S.

Scrobs said...

Thanks Lils - but please don't ever mention the 'k' word, those things smell...;0)

Scrobs said...

Reevers - dunno, but it was some sucker...

Scrobs said...

Carpers - can't he just file his petition...?

Ha ha ha...

Scrobs said...

Mutters - you will, you will; I promise you you will...

Scrobs said...

Mrs-ers (difficult to 'ers' this one...) That is so obscure, I'd like a video ref to come on the field please...

Philipa said...

Vicar - cold-ridden clergy from Devon.

Beer - hesitant reality.

Sophistry - wise man gone bonkers.

Sorry, bit lame.

Trubes said...

Hi Scobbles:
I like Flabbergasted... Very funny post...That's me at present whilst taking the nasty steroids...I am avoiding my public until I'm off them...not long now!

Hope you are well and all at Chez Scrobbles...
I've posted a bit of triv. on my site for your entertainment, hope it raises a chuckle, which we all need on this cold and sleety day!

Di.xxx