Thursday, 6 September 2007

Upbuggerance of Alldis lamp...

Total embashment and terminal up-buggerance of the laptop occurred around lunchtime yesterday. The squeaks and bangs and pinking noises, plus some blue (fatal) gibberish about kernels and geeky stuff on ‘error messages’ decided my next move – to PC World. I was sentenced to Tunbridge Wells.

God, my feet ache, and so does my wallet!

Now, I don’t really want to praise them too highly, after all, they’re there to sell computers to L.M-A.I.s like me, but they were pretty helpful yesterday. When I think that our first PC in 1994 had the same amount of hard disc as a mobile phone nowadays, and it cost a fortune too; the kit on show in modern stores seems impressive enough to me, but it takes an age to look over and decide.

Its going to be a hard slog this weekend, poking around in the dark, plugging things in unusual places, saying ‘sod it’ several times an hour. And that’s just getting out of bed!

As they used to say ‘jeurring ve woorrer’, I’m sending this important message via a colleague’s PC, (Admiral Honeysuckle Scroblenette), and hope to resume normal communication procedures soon.

I may be some time…

11 comments:

electro-kevin said...

"I may be some time" I bet if you're plugging things in unusual places in the dark.

Ed said...

Ooh-err!

There's something excruciating about setting a new PC up to how you like it. I upgraded to Vista a few months ago which involved completely wiping my computer and starting from scratch. Horrible stuff and I pretend to vaguely know what I'm doing.

Scroblene said...

Ed - I can't believe I'm still sane...

But, we've got the new kit up and running, although I'm getting hassle from the business pc in the 'orifice'!

Mrs S. has stolen the show by standing close and remembering the key password (it should be 'f ******* bollocks', but we kept it clean for when the Vicar came round).

So, we're back after only a few hours!

What worries me is that I've done more work by not being on-line, than when I was! We got a huge job today and I only did one phonecall!

ps - had to get back to PC World as the monitor had huge lines of colour all over the place...they were great, and replaced the offender immediately!

Not a bad deal so far!

idle said...

Welcome back Scrobs. Try not to bugger this one up by downloading architecture porn or dripping marmalade on the keyborad.

Lucy said...

You really ought to consider a MAC. I know the massive-phobia PC-users have with MACs. And yes there's a learning curve--but it's slight at best. Plus, you have the Mac store that you can always venture into for additional help.

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Ed said...

dripping marmalade on the keyborad

I spill things on my computer all the time! I knock glasses of water over, spill my cornflakes, etc. etc.

All highly embarrassing.

hatfield girl said...

My keyboard has no back space which makes any typo or misspelling or sytlistic infelicity or plain silly thought to be avoided at all costs; the back space disappeared under a catspaw (or do I mean a cat's paw?) investigating if a caffelungo was long enough to reach the keyboard, which it was, just. There's probably lots more missing but as I don't know it's missing because I don't know what might be available, is it really not there?

electro-kevin said...

I hope things are going well for you, Scrobs.

I know that you're busy setting up some kind of venture (overhearing chit chat on the web). I just wanted to say good luck to you.

Kev

William Minotaur said...

I believe Mr. Scroblene is a day boy at the Priory. I have it on good authority that he has a 'hard on' for Phencyclidine known as Angel Dust, also known as Wet, Sherman Hemsley, Rocket Fuel, Ashy Larry, Shermans Tank, Wack, Halk Hogan, Ozone, HannaH, Hog, Manitoba Shlimbo, and Embalming Fluid, among other names.

Scroblene said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scroblene said...

Phencyclidine

"Although the primary psychoactive effects of the drug only last hours, total elimination from the body is prolonged, typically extending over weeks".

Absolutely, and I've been out of it for months!

Actually, I'm now on morning duty only now, with a short break for a cooling G and T at 11.00am!

Well spotted William! You definitely have a knack for appearing in superb alternative forms...