Saturday, 22 September 2007

Blasted electric windows


As some friends will recall, Mrs S drives a 17 Litre Ferrari Super Bastard Fiat Punto. It is a great car, and we love twirling it round the lanes as it is green, small, and incredibly light to drive. She is a good driver, and considerate to all but the slack-jawed gormless rock-apes who try and kill everyone, but aren’t we all!

Like all cars, the little car needs some TLC now and then, and after the debacle with the MOT, (which was eventually solved by me wrenching the bits apart, and putting them back together, roughly in the same order), we thought a quick visit to Bill’s garage would be a good idea.

Now, electric windows are buggers. Bring back handles I say; you can make them work by applying gentle pressure here and there, and if they stop working, you can undo all the doors and mend them with strips of Meccano, or the occasional coat hanger.

Some time ago, the electric windows refused to work on the driver’s side. Mrs S is a patient lady, well versed in using several colourful expletives when she arrives at a parking ticket machine in the rain, and has to get out of a three inch gap to pick up the soggy ticket.

So we eventually took it to a garage and they fixed it. Then the same thing happened and it stopped working again, and I mucked around in the electrics, but this time with no magic touch.

So we told ‘Fi-bloody-at Pun-sodding-to’ that we were taking it back for a total electricectomy without anaeshetic – and the window started working again! Just like that!

During one hot spell, Mrs S decided we needed more tyres, and the window was back in hump mode again. But when we picked up the car at Quickfit, - it was working! This has happened twice more since! With the threat of the garage hanging over it, Super Ferrari Armstrong Siddeley Fiat Punto behaves itself.

And blow me down but it happened again yesterday! The moment we booked it in to Bill’s, the window opened for the first time in three months!

I really want to know who’s looking out for us up there, because he or she must be a damn fine mechanic!

13 comments:

Lilith said...

Do you and Mrs S make like the advert, when he patronises her driving and she gives him a demonstration of how in control she is? "Fiat Punto - Driven by Passion"

Lilith said...

I had a diesel fiat uno two cars ago. Used to drive between Salisbury and Sevenoaks in it. It was like driving on spin cycle with a brick in the drum. I would arrive thinking "That wasn't so bad" and then park it up, which would finish me off completely. (No power steering).

idle said...

Is 17 litres the interior cabin space?

electro-kevin said...

Hear hear.

E-K senior has just had to fork out not only for the window that jammed, but for the whole system to be renewed AND ... new ignition too ! Bloody madness.

Scroblene said...

Lilith; Mrs S has always been in control! When southpaw was under wraps, she took me everywhere, and I've just remembered, she is owed some expenses...

Her previous car was a Renault, which also needed three people to turn the steering wheel to park. (One to turn the wheel, another to look out the windows, and a third to yell out 'beep - beep - beep, REVERSING....REVERSING....HEY, DIDN'T YOU BLOODY WELL HEAR ME YOU UGLY PILLOCK, I'M MOVING THIS SOD BACKWARDS...'!

Scroblene said...

Idle;

17 litres is the imagined size of the engine when it arrives at the pumps...

This is also a figure based on the consumption of a Lotus Sports Van!

Scroblene said...

Eleccers; Sorry to hear about that.

Apparently, before Skoda became an acceptable and damn good car, they used to unload them at Sheerness. The entire wiring systems were deemed unworkable, and would have failed their MOTs immediately!

It just shows how successful their new owners have made the name work and good luck to them!

electro-kevin said...

I used to run a Skoda Estelle which was given to me. The electrics were crap but I learned a lot. Thankfully the care was dead easy to work on. The bodywork and mechanics was sound as a pound though. The whole back of the car came off to allow access to the entire engine.

Once, on the motorway, the water system developed a catostrophic leak. I decided to carry on as far as the car would let me. It heated right into the red but did not sieze. I got off the motorway (30m) organised a tow home - patched up the water system and refilled it. It ran for another 2 years before I gave it away still in working order.

An incredible car really. Such an embarassment to be in though.

I remember colliding with another Skoda going round the Elephant and Castle roundabout - we'd crunched door panels and I looked at the other driver, we shrugged and just carried on as though nothing had happened. It just didn't matter. A bit of dent pulling - no problemmo.

Mrs. Evelyn Spicer-Playfair said...

Scrobs,
Have you been ungallant with Lilith? I know you silver swordsmen... all affability on the surface, but with your rapier tightly gripped down the side of your leg.
I'll have to keep an eye on you.

A. A. Ayscoughe~Hussey said...

Great Uncle Finlay had a green 1930 4½ Litre Convertible CoupĂ© blower Bentley, with French Marchal headlamps and an Amherst Villiers supercharger. As far as I recall it used to gulp down the petrol.
But I bow to greater knowledge, so in an attempt to help with the environment, I am having Mrs. Nippard paint the old Bristol 405 a lovely leaf green, (we have an old tin of lead paint from having done the deer park railings.)

Scroblene said...

Dear Evelyn,

I can assure you that nothing could ever be uttered from the secure microcosm of Scroblene Turrets that would upset Lilith!

I fear Electro-Kevin's attentions may have kept her in a darkened room, whence I fully expect her to emerge with all perceptible imperfections to the forehead area dissolved to a 'round robin' of congratulation, red wine and a short visit to the park to walk her little dog!

Thanks for considering the rapier though, I misted over at that...

Scroblene said...

Ayscers...

Didn't Ian Fleming drive one of those Benicles?

Bristols have a large impression on my memory. I rode in one when I was eight, and have never looked back since; (or forward for that matter...)!

electro-kevin said...

Not impressed with Skoda then :-(

Re Lilith ... 'twasn't me.