Thursday, 27 September 2007

The drains...the drains...

I knew it couldn't last! I bloody knew it!

The curse of the electric windows on Mrs S's Ferrari-Royce-Standard.Ten-Punto has spread like a lava stream to the infrastructure of Scroblene Turrets!

Blasted drains and I have a chequered history, they get in the way, they block, they hurt me seriously. (I once dropped a heavy concrete block in the manhole, which fortunately didn't break, because my finger luckily cushioned it against the internal brick chamber. It was the closest to fainting I've ever been, and even Mrs S was a bit concerned...)

Anyhow, as I mentioned only a few days ago, a damn good talking to does the trick to car windows. And now it does to drains!

Serious blockment of turdal channels caused me to truncate (What! Editor.), a business trip today, to sort it all out. So I marched into B and Q and bought a set of drain rods for less than £18, which I though was a fair bargain.

When I got home, (truncated by now), I donned the lead lined sterile suit, sprayed Dettol everywhere, and arranged all the tools and rods where I could grab them and attack the monster, go for the throat, strangle the life from the gremlins lurking among the detritus, break the hold on water-borne disease for ever and save the world.

And it was ever thus.

Just a few signs of the problem this morning were there! All clear! All clean! All gone!

I bet this is the first blog post ever, where the Blogmeister explains how to clear drain blockages by just a few well chosen words, and a threatened visit with some shiny new drain rods...

And I missed a damn good piss-up in London! Bugger!

26 comments:

Lucien Modo said...

I would recommend a lamb tajine for blasting one's pipes clean... however all those nice Henry Poole and Co suits that had began to look a tad tight are very comfortable once more. Mrs. Modo is also giving the glad eye once again; just wish I had the where-with-all.

Ed said...

And I missed a damn good piss-up in London! Bugger!

Should have said "sh1t!" :-)

Lilith said...

I think that you are a magician Scrobs. You just have to threaten the car or wave the draining rods for the problem to solve itself. And E-K just threw his camera against a wall to fix it. Makes life easier doesn't it!

Lilith said...

Found a song for you Scrobs x

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

Unblocking the kitchen sink is on my list of household chores.
No idea where to start.

Dennis said...

Just remember to keep a clockwise torsion on them there rods. A moment's inattention and you're in thrall to DynoRod -- or even looking down the barrel of digging up the whole drain-run, which doubtless by now passes under various permanent structures.

Ingsoc, I have had experience of plumbing and indeed once installed a new bathroom all on my own. Nip down to your local library and grab a tome called the David & Charles Manual of Home Plumbing (Ernest Clark I think is the author). Tells you more than you wish to know.

Buried in the middle is also a fetching nude lady demonstrating an 80s-style shower enclosure. Most copies fall open at the appropriate page.

Gledwood said...

Scroblene! What a name you have! It stood out a mile across the bloggersphere so I had to drop by.
I do hope your drains sort themselves out soon. Drains nuisances are very inconvenient... you could always try spraying over the top with Neutradol air freshener - it might clear the diarrhoeariness a little...
What a right entertaining blog you got here and all... I keep a daily record but it's degenerated into a daily hamstery confessional "thang"... ooer m'dear. I'm writing my memoirs at the moment it's much more difficult than blogging I can assure you...
Anyhow... do come and drop by my place sometime, leave your jazzy monicka chez moi (gledwood2.blogspot)... I look forward very much to your visit, Scroblene,
take care!
& all the best 2u
from

Gledwood
"Vol 2..."

Scroblene said...

Lilith! You're so kind...

Magic is for this guy! Check the last verse...!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs_6cVfL590

Scroblene said...

Dennis;

You're so right!

In fact Dynorod deal with retrieving lost drain rods very well! They simply send down a high pressure huse which blows backwards! One chap told me once that he retrieved four or five rods this way!

Mind you, stand back a bit when they start flying about...

Scroblene said...

Gledwood!

Thanks for calling by! I'll be over soon...

I assure you the entertainment here is all supplied by the good people on the list to the right!

electro-kevin said...

I had a set of those rods. At my old house a family of newcomers had moved in and all of a sudden drainage issues occured. I hadn't been aware that these people were direct from Nigeria - I had not made any logical connection between them and my overflowing toilet until I rodded the drains. Nappies, sanitary towels ... condoms had been flushed down their loos. This occured twice and I had to go to the local housing association to get them to change their ways - rather than a personal approach a letter was issued to every householder that action would be taken. Talk about gutless.

Mermaid of Moorgate said...

Hello!!! I am interviewing Geoff Hoon at 1:30 today at Downing Street.

I will be asking him questions about his role as City Minister and Chief Whip, what Labour's plans for London are (business, Finance, Crossrail) etc.

If you have any questions (sensible ones) please post them on my blog and I will ask them for you!!

Lucien Modo said...

;-)

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