Wednesday, 8 March 2017

How do you hate...

When I was at boarding school, back in the fifties and sixties, I made many good friends; and also, sadly a few serious enemies.

I suppose that now I am in my late sixties, I should be constantly thinking of Daughts, grandchildren, gardening, pensions and lunch with old farts like me and Mrs Scroblene! And I do all of these things, very easily, without concern for anyone else (except for the said Mrs Scroblene, who is my pride and joy and definitely not an old fart - sorry Mrs S - slip of the keyboard)!

But it is a funny (not funny) recall that comes to me on occasions, on how I dealt with people who were unkind to me, back when I was at school.

I was never physically bullied as I could swing a punch as good as the next lad, but there were some chaps who were the type who just made a life nasty because of 'teasing'. It got to me seriously, as being an emergent Scrobs, with all the world at his feet, and despite wanting to like people first, some little-minded git would try and knock me down for reasons only known to himself, and think he was better than me.

I've never really bothered about anyone claiming to be 'better', if that's what they believe, then good luck to them, but just don't knock a more normal sort of bloke, eh?

I learned only yesterday, that the person who caused me such grief back when I was a simple teenager, died from a heart attack last year. He'd been a journalist of sorts, and was something high up in the Daily Mail, but as a lovely family member recalls (as she used to work for him') he hadn't changed, and was still a nasty little shit back then.

So 'bye then asshole. You caused me much pain and turned good friends against me, and you also hurt many others when you became a 'senior' at school. You're dead now, and I feel great about that.


The Jannie said...

Well done. As a seasoned long-term holder of grudges I'm pleased to find out that I'm not alone.

Michael said...

Mr The, you're welcome!

That guy was a mean bastard to many more people, although we had once been friends of sorts.

Once, at an OB get-together, I met with another chap who'd had the same unkind treatment with some of his chums. He wrongly thought that I was in on the unpleasantness, and I had to explain how he was so wrong! If the subject matter had actually turned up, there would probably have been bloodshed - the real thing too!

It was a nasty moment, and the OB day brightened considerably after we'd sorted out that particular misunderstanding!

rvi said...


Good post on Going Postal from an old codger like us about his schooldays. Worth a read if you missed it as it will bring memories flooding back!

I was always the shrimp of the class as I took time out from growing taller between the ages of 13 and 15 and so I was regularly bullied by someone who eventually grew to about 6'4". He was always grabbing me and being generally unpleasant - until one day he grabbed me from behind and then went off limping as I slammed my leather heeled shoe as hard as I could on his foot.

He never did it again - and in fact we actually became quite good mates. I am still in touch with several of my grammar school class mates, and we will all be celebrating our 69th anniversary later this year.

Now, where did all those years go?

A K Haart said...

Perhaps it is now time to bury the hatchet even though you can’t do it face to face. However you could visit his grave to pay your respects to his memory. A full bladder might help with that.

Michael said...

Nope Mr H!.

If ever an issue made me the sort of avenging person I am nowadays, it was him.

He was just out to be unkind, which was odd, as I met his parents one Sunday - they took me to lunch, and a drive in the countryside as well, but er - nope, the bloke eventually developed a nasty evil streak which somehow manifested itself well beyond the normal ways of dealing with friendly chums.

It hurt.

I learned from then that this sort of evil mindset was not included in my circle of friends, so I found out pretty early on that there are some people who are just bad.

This chap was one of those.

Thinking further, I've been so much happier these last few days, because I know I'll never have to see or hear of him again. I really do feel much more enlightened, and don't have the notion of a graceless asshole being prepared to hurt me just because he could, but only with the help of his friends.

I now have the benefit of a great personal feeling and it's getting better by the day too!

In fact - Yeeee Haaaaah....:0)

Demetrius said...

Our rugger fixtures included a few boarding schools. From what I saw on away games I was very glad to be at a day school.

Nick Drew said...

There was a nasty piece of work at my school - again, not much scope for outright bullying (in a rugby-playing school there is always some 1st XV prefect who can mallet even the stroppiest 5th-form would-be bully without breaking sweat) - but he was as near as anyone got

(and a thief, I recall)

anyhow, when a few years ago I went to a reunion dinner of a few contiguous year-groups, there he was - completely isolated, with nobody talking to him whatsoever

not quite as drastic as wishing him dead, but quite satisfying nonetheless

Thud said...

Nice one Scrobs,some people have no redeeming features and I applaud you kicking a man when he is down, bad form to some but I can't think of a better time especially for the turd in question.

Michael said...

Good post Nick - thankyou.

I'm not absolutely sure I wished him dead, but that I was afraid that I might have knocked him out had I seen him ever again, because he was such a nasty piece of work.

I've found after all these years since I left school (52 years), that it all occasionally rankled, and as everyone here is a better psychologist than me, I'll bow to discussion and admit that I'm maybe a sad old Scrobs who lost the battle...

Maybe not, but the upside is, that I'm still here with a lovely wife and children and grandchildren - raring to go, and one of my 'needles' isn't around to plant destruction in me - I'm not that sort of bloke to like that sort of existence!

Michael said...

Thud, you're a good man for saying that - thank you.

I'd always forgive wherever I could, but in this case it would have been impossible.

He caused me so such emotional hardship, I finished up seeing the family doctor, and after that, felt so much better. Luckily, the trauma was just about over when I met Mrs Scroblene, and from then on, I was top dog!

Mrs Scroblene was then - and still is - the most beautiful girl a man could wish for, and back then the old fears from past fears and insecurities (started by the bloke now dead) were dismissed when I struck so lucky starting a long and happy life with her.

So thank you, Thud for looking deep into this post; I appreciate that.

Michael said...

Demetrius, it wasn't the sport but the thuggery that went with it...

My rugger days were much better when I learned what bitter beer tasted like...

rvi said...

I am beginning to think that being completely ignored is a form of bullying. Perhaps I should go and stand outside the headmaster's door for a few days?

Nick Drew said...

what!? oh, thuggery ...

Michael said...

Oh yes, there was some of that as well, but luckily not on my remit.

Co-ed schools had the lead on single boys places back then, but they were 'progressive', so were for the likes of the Toynbee ilk, and probably lots of Guardian readers as well!

That's why the BBC is up themselves at every corner!

Problem solved - crash the BBC; the Grauniad goes bust from lack of adverts and we all enjoy a pint in the sun with maybe a packet of cheese and onion to top the bill!

I might even start smoking again, if I could remember what to do...