Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Kent's new theme park - updated Phase 2...


Senor Carluccio Ricardo O'Blene, and his illustrious wife, have secretly published the latest design of the inspired new theme park, to be built in an unknown destination, now defined as Sodden Prickney, which was subject to a recent unpleasantness, (later resolved that evening over several alcopops and a shared Bath bun).

The new design shows an exciting departure from buildings such as were designed, (and thankfully demolished) at The Olympic Park, and on close inspection, the inspired architectural significance of the Sodden Prickney Leisure and Athletic Themery (SPLAT), appears to be well on the way to completion, despite not having planning permission, but that is a minor abberation. (All correspondence with the council should be addressed to Miss Agatha Tiddles-Nightly, who unfortunately ruined the environmentalist's case for delay, by treading on the only newt spotted during a site visit)!

The Recycling department at Mr Elias Sagtrouser's Brass, Spanners and Timber Emporium, has designated this a priority site, and on close inspection, a recent delivery of building materials can actually be seen, carefully stacked in the middle of the site. His account has already been settled, and Mrs Sagtrouser was spotted entering the Sodden Prickney 'Nailorama' only last Wednesday.

The new soaring, inspired red cathedral-like structure, which dominates the adjoining International Size Swimming Pewl, will clearly be available for public functions for years to come, and indeed already has seen some private ones as well, if anyone believes the minutes of the various meetings!

Behind the inspired, lofty building, there is another much lower, 'brutalist' structure, but the use of this has not been identified by Mr O'Blene, although he has hinted at the potential relocation of Miss Newt's retail establishment into a modest inspired eighty-five thousand sq.ft. supermarket complex,

Starborgling Inc, the Swedish branch of the international Eoinker conglomerate, is the main contractor on the site. Mr Eoinker Starborgling, the company's Chairman, said during an energetic interview with Mrs Baggage, the sports columnist on the 'Sodden Prickney Bugle', that he had no compunction. Senor O'Blene also agreed that he had no compunction as well, and in fact, Mr Sagtrouser doesn't have any either!

Miss Cynthia Molestrangler admitted that she has only recently been inspired.




19 comments:

Petr said...

Yer daft booger. Entertaining post though

A K Haart said...

Isn’t that Miss Molestrangler’s outdoor bath in the background?

She’ll be wanting it back – it was her redundancy package from Armitage Shanks.

Scrobs... said...

So much happens in this part of Kent, Petr, that someyimes I think we live in a different world...

Thank you for calling by though, the pair of Complementary tickets are in the post, free of charge, so by all means send the cash to the usual address!

Scrobs... said...

The 'Olympic Sized Swimming Pewl' is indeed a carefully copied design from Miss Molestrangler's Bath, Mr Haart, but when it was drawn, the bath was actually inside the house!

During an energetic meeting with several members of the committee, in said bath, a small gas explosion of around the equivalent of half a megaton of high explosive, caused several of the walls in her modest eight-bedroom cottage, to collapse, thereby exposing the occupants to the elements...

You see where I am coming from I expect...

Armitage Shanks are the best bath makers in the world, as you may well know! I do!

Anonymous said...

Sounds terribly exciting. Will there be a cafe selling beverages such as hot bovril?

asked Pip

Electro-Kevin said...

Don't forget the mosque overlooking.

Scrobs... said...

The Olympic sized Pewl will indeed have an Olympic sized menu Ms Pips!

I'm glad you asked the question, as we never thought of putting a brown substance on the menu, most of the drinks are of the sort where we can attract those of limited knowledge of the real world, so they will be pink, or bright green, or electric blue!

Thank you for calling by, we like to encourage girls with some flair!

Scrobs... said...

We looked at a catalogue from Mosques-R-Us, Elecs, and decided that none of the items were for us!

Sorry!

rvi said...

Blast and dammit!!

I take my good lady for a week down under for some decent fushnchups and Vegemite and when I come back I find I have missed the opportunity of a lifetime.

Oh well, back to the Scrabble board. Just remember to let me know when you decide to "go public".

Scrobs... said...

Reevers, there is still time to take up the shares!

Several good people here are already paper millionaires, (But they don't know it so don't spill the beans), and you can become a similar winner when you sign the paper which is with the courier, parked just outside your penthouse window...

Mr Sagtrouser and I are dribbling at your potential involvement...

rvi said...

Woe, woe and more woe..

Thank you for your kind offer, but I fear you are too late as all of the (previously) investible funds have been dissipated/re-allocated to purchases of VB, XXXX [that's 4X in Strine], a crate of Hunter Valleys Reds, a carton of extra-strength Vegemite, and a case of Mum's Famous Australian Steak and Kidney Pies...


... plus, shoes, handbags, shoes, scarves, blouses, shoes, skirts and frillies.


Oh, by he way did I mention shoes?



{I tried to post this response 3 times yesterday but your office was not receiving. Are you sure you are still in business or have you and your colleaagues absconded with the invested funds?}

Scrobs... said...

You wouldn't happen to have been somewhere near Australia would you Reevers?

It's just that somehow, I seem to recognise the symptoms!

And no, we haven't absconded with the dibs, we're hard at it, creating mayhem with the local politicians, and causing havoc with Miss Molestrangler - one at a time I may add...

rvi said...

You shore is heep sharp cookie one.

Was it the "down under" in my first post which gave the game away?

Carry on with the mayhem and all power to your elbow(s).

Anonymous said...

After a bloody awful day in which most people have been rude and horrid (punctuated by a welcome respite midday with my children) I popped along to be cheered up by Scrobs' blog. It worked :-)

Pip x

Electro-Kevin said...

The allotment's never been the same since Arthur Fowler died.

Scrobs... said...

Just been listening to 'Dog days are over', by Florence and The Machine Pips!

I'll dedicate it to you young lady!

Scrobs... said...

Wash your mouth out Mr Elecs!

This a state of the art new Themery, and is already taking bookings!

Anonymous said...

I love it! Thanks, Scrobs :-))

said Pip x

Scrobs... said...

This is an even zanier version, Pips!

I just love it!

So they really will be over won't they!