Saturday 5 November 2011

Obit by popular request...

An Obituary printed in the London Times...Absolutely brilliant!

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with
us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you
can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when possibly well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;

I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

4 comments:

rvi said...

G'day cobber. I think this liitle gem first appeared on the DoDo blog a couple of years ago. All one can really say is RIP.

Anyway, this is brief as I leave for the airport in 20 minutes to go walkabout downunder for a while.

And so as I make my up to the sunlit uplands for a spot of sheep shearing and a few VBs, I leave you with

this

Philipa said...

Sad but true. We are in mourning :(

Sen. C.R.O'Blene said...

Reevers, wait!

Oh, you can't, well have good trip then...!

Sen. C.R.O'Blene said...

Pips, yer right - we're in for the cabbage soup years unless this crowd buck their ideas up...