Thursday, 9 September 2010
Declan Kelly was the worst when he did the business slot on the Beeb at breakfast time. Now Sinome has started doing it!
Why on earth do announcers, journalists, presenters and commentators have to deliver their reports like a machine gun?
Good announcers can nearly get away with it, by putting in some inflection to each 'glot', but the worst offenders are almost unintelligible, with long periods between each syllable, some so long that I forget what they were saying half-way through the word they're stuttering! On one occasion, I went out, poured a G and T, savaged a packet of crisps and watched 'Ben Hur', (including the longer version of the chariot race) in the time it took some squeaking little sports boy to grottal a word which had nearly six syllables!
And while we're at it, 'The Turrets' now operates the 'Three yoblings and you're switched off' rule, to any one who says 'You know'. So that kicks any football-related television, (reporters, and definitely players and 'managers'). That way, we also manage to keep pretty well clear of most pop music and film presenters, so life isn't all bad is it!
My business partner has pointed out the true description of 'Glottal stops', and over a lengthy call (Skype thank goodness), he explained the way they work. I have to confess that I thought that the delivery of rapid fire syllables, with equal time spaces between each one were the main example, but now hold my hand up and surrender to more knowledgeable beings!
He also pointed out a hilarious example of this recent trend towards upward inflection at the end of a sentence, which also drives me mad. He called it the 'Moronic Interrogative', and from now on, our meanderings over Skype will never be quite the same...