Wednesday, 26 May 2010

Boat story...




Meccano Sagtrouser's brother Lego, bought a new boat and decided to take her for the maiden voyage with the love of his life, Toniiattelinaramarama (aged 16). This was his first boat and he wasn't quite sure of the exact Standard Operating Procedures for launching it off a ramp, but figured it couldn't be too hard.

He consulted his local boat dealer for advice, but they just said "don't let the trailer get too deep when you are trying to launch the boat."

Well, he didn't know what they meant by that as he could barely get the trailer in the water at all...

Elias has since brought a rope and given him a clip round the ear.

9 comments:

Thud said...

Darwin almost at work.

rvi said...

Are Lego and Tony regulars on the wireless quiz programmes perchance? I think I heard them throughout last week; in fact, I am sure I did. Shirley Williams must be so proud of her achievements.


UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Jeremy Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you



BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester



BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don't know.
Stewart White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm
Stewart White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?
Contestant: Strong.
Stewart White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant: Louis
Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?


LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant: France.
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris.


THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.


BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
DJ Mark: For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?


UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoyne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?


GWR FM ( Bristol )
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.


PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO?MANCHESTER)
Phil: What's 11 squared?
Contestant: I don't know.
Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant: Is it five?


RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
Contestant: Forrest Gump.


RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: Er. ... ...
Richard: He makes bread . . .
Contestant: Er .. ......
Richard: He makes cakes . . .
Contestant: Kipling Street?

rvi said...

Had to split this submission into two: Part the second:




LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain ..


NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question: What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant: The Pacific.


ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?


THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta?


JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
James O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?



CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
Chris Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Chris Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er ......... Mexico ?


PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (long pause): Fourteen days.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Phil Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er... ..... ..
Phil Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . .
Contestant: Blimey?
Phil Wood: Ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
Contestant: (Silence)
Phil Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant: Walked?


THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia.


LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant: Jewish.
Presenter: That's close enough.


STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus.

Scrobs... said...

Reevers...

Yes!!!

Keyboard cleaner required, not many dead...

Marvellous stuff!

I just love the picture for its pure simplicity, but thanks for adding this to the post - d'you realise you may well be considering your own now...

Just a thought, as so many people are deserting to 'Bookface' these days!

Scrobs... said...

Thud; Yup!

Thickos from the islands really are a race unto themselves...

Electro-Kevin said...

A slight hitch there, Scrobs.

Thanks RVI.

Philipa said...

Oh cripes! It's always dangerous to ignore the tide.

Philipa said...

Reevers - I just feel terribly sorry for those people who must be so excited and nervous at being on the show they are simply not thinking at all. And will be remembered for all time for their mistakes. Bless. I thought the University Challenge one was hilarious though.

rvi said...

Pip: You clearly have a very generous spirit...

Re the pic, my own theory is that Lego had been told that the ramp led down to the basement car park, which on the evidence looks to have been flooded at the time.