As the whole of the universe knows, Scrobs and Her Senoraship Madame O'Blene bought a VW Golf last year, and we're mighty pleased with it.
As we mainly stay local, we often see chums going about their daily routine, walking dogs, buying stuff etc, and if we can, we pop a happy wave, hoping they'll see us. The 'problem' is that on the steering wheel, the actual horn-press needs the strength of an industrial crane to get it to hoot.
In the old Minis, the horn was a tiny button on the end of the indicator stalk, and a feeble beep was emitted as easy as pie. In the Golf, by the time one has spotted the unwary chum, and the thumbs are in place somewhere in the middle of the steering wheel, its too late to do anything, and anyway, the noise may just cause said chum to jump out of her/his skin! And we feel much aggrieved at missing the connection with friends!
What Scrobs really needs is a 'retro' Mini stalk, sellotaped to the dashboard, so the quick flip of the forefinger could emit the old style 'beep' or perhaps a birdsong, or a bark, so that the chum immediately knows who is calling out, and can take evasive action, or wave back, or make some sort of gesture normally associated with Harvey Smith!
I thought they were illegal, these Colonel Bogey horns, but watching Del Boy the other night, reminded me of a good chum who could wake up the whole of Chelsea by pressing every button at the same time...
6 comments:
Maybe what you need is one of those megaphone/PA systems on the car roof as used at election time. You shouldn't leave it switched on all the time though, in case casual comments are blasted all over the village.
I was going to suggest one of those brass klaxon horns with a squeezy rubber bulb-shaped end that you could just stick out of the window but I prefer AKH's suggestion. What fun you could have with it, such as getting a CD of ice-cream van music and playing it through the system and watching everyone looking completely baffled as to where to get their ninety-nines, if you're getting stuck in traffic you could pretend to be a police car and play "nee-naa, nee-naa" so you can slip through all the cars. Just one thing though, as AKH said, be careful to switch it off especially if you're singing your version of Fiddler's Dram!
Just install a yank cop car pa system behind grill, you can call out to your friends or serenade them with one of your fav tunes.
All I want is an arthritis-suited version of a car horn to call out to chums, Mr H!
You've just reminded me of a funny Python clip, which I need to seek out...
I could rearrange a clip from The Beatles 'Beep - m - beep,beep - yeah'...Goosey!
I heard that you can buy 'whistles' in New Zealand, which birds and small animals can hear before you run them over! They fit under the bonnet somewhere (of the car, not the Scrobs' lean and tentative hat-body), and air pressure activates an inaudible noise (from ditto)!
But don't we have a luvverly time eh? Mrs O'Blene made up the dirtiest lines...
Thud, if my garage chap saw that, he'd die laughing!
I like the idea of 'Full steam ahead Mr Boatswain, full steam ahead' though!
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