'The Bugle' cocks it up...

As to be expected, there was uproar at the Sodden Prickney Village Council meeting last Thursday, when it was discovered that an article in The Bugle had been altered to give a completely different interpretation of Cllr Basil Kalashnikov's address at the village fete, back in the Summer.

What was printed, was under the heading, 'Bollocks to the Sods', where in fact, what he'd actually said, was, 'Both Councillor Baggage and I are happy to introduce  new reports on the local football team in the village, which is known colloquially to many as 'The Sods'. The village purchase of the strip will include boots and lots of socks!

PC Lumbersnatch has been informed, but as he is away having a 'gentleman's inconvenience' operation, there is some delay, not to say confusion, as to why the interference in the actual oration by Cllr Kalashnikov was actually mis-reported, so a committee, consisting of Cllrs Molestrangler, Newt, Iodine, Flange, D'Artagnan-Minge, Trumpet and Groat has been assembled to get to the bottom of the issue, or  rather just above the hem of Edwina Baggage's Janet Regers! 

Cllr Baggage has been summoned to the council to explain the reasons why her reporting was so blatantly 'bicyclist', and how on earth the mistake had been made, when both Ms Baggage and her Editor, Wing Commander Largely-Knobbs RAF (Retd.), are keen protaganists of the sport, which also entails several measures of Glenmorangie before the event, and a Castella afterwards! The date for the dressing-down has not been set yet, as the committee has decided to do more investigation, possibly because Cllr Baggage refuses to listen to anyone who even mentions the obfuscation, and therefore, nobody will probably ever be responsible for a satisfactory outcome of what has been unequivocal pandemonium in the tangible microcosm of such a small village!

Old Hackney 'post'...

This is all explained in detail in the main story, and a bit of a shocker, but the few pics here describe another time pretty well...

https://spitalfieldslife.com/2018/05/25/the-hackney-whipping-post-x/

In the comments, 1962 was mentioned as the last time it was used, so all I can say is 'Hellfire'...

H/T Spitalfields Life

John Lodge R.I.P....

I was saddened to learn about John Lodge dying a couple of weeks ago.

I first saw The Moody Blues on a TV show - probably 'Top of the pops', back around 1965. I was due to go back to school, far away from home, and the old hormones were buzzing more than somewhat, as the 'video' used in 'Go now' had a vision of a gorgeous long-blonde-haired girl walking away from the camera in sad circumstances!

We all talked long and hard about the impact this song had among the dormitories of hell, and Denny Laine's voice reverberated for some time after getting back to history, maths and chemistry classes!

Years later - well, not that many actually - I was working in Westminster in a rather stuffy surveyors' office, and one of the chaps there lent me the Moody Blues album, 'On the threshold of a dream'. I was hooked - totally mesmerised by the harmonies, the skills, and the passion of the songs!

Fast forward to about a couple of years ago...

Senora O'Blene was clearly unwell. Things weren't right, but as she was so mentally strong, there was never going to be any issue made of the situation. So I took over some of the 'duties' needed to keep 'The Turrets' going, and with her continual advice, and also a few tinctures on a regular basis, we had many months of happiness and joy!

One job I had was doing the cooking! I'd suggest something, she'd agree or disagree, and from then on, I'd rush between kitchen and living room, asking advice, getting tips, laughing, etc., and it worked quite well actually! While I was fiddling around with unfamiliar utensils, I'd get Spotify to choose some songs, and the above production just leapt out of the speakers. I really was transfixed at the simplicity, and the feeling of the music, and I played it constantly, as I'd never heard it before!

As chums here know, Senora O'Blene had to leave us last year, and life is still adjusting, but as this song was on the list for her funeral, the more I hear it, the more it 'reverberates'!

John Lodge was the bass player on the song, and since 1965, emotions really haven't changed that much, for which I'm eternally grateful and even now, I realise what a lucky chap I was and still am!

R.I.P John and thanks.

Behind the lines...

Absolutely amazing footage of the battlefields!

 

Insomniacalist conundrum...

Here's an 'interesting' one...

Scrobs very occasionally has a night of repeated tossing and turning, with stupid dreams and noises off, like the majority of normal citizens!

Last night, one of these events seemed to take on a rather surreal production, with various awakenings, several 'drops off', and eventually three hours slumber from around 3.00am.

In fact, last night, I solved a Telegraph Crossword clue, (1 across, 5,3,6), which had been bugging me for a couple of days; I'd heard the lorries crashing by and avoiding the roadworks on a parallel main road, and listened to the dog snoring, and chasing something in her sleep.

So the eventual realms of dormancy prevailed, and I dropped off around the allotted time! But the ridiculous dreams persisted, and near dawn, during a strange dream, where my dear wife and daughter were in my parents' house, laughing at the dog, I was panicking because the hound was steadily chewing one of my favoured Airpods, and eventually swallowing it!

The awakening arrived with said dog softly pawing my shoulder to go out - in real time - and for a nanosecond, I thought of berating her for eating my connection to my iPhone!

I'm not sure what a trick cyclist might surmise from this episode, but by Golly, did it make me laugh!

Harvest moon...

So tonight, we can see a real British Harvest Moon!

It wasn't that bad a moon last night when I dodged the curtains for a quick peek, but hopefully, I'll see the whole shebang tonight, when the 3 o'clock - er - visit to the loo seems to abound these days...

A lovely chum told me about this song, and it resonates on so many levels, especially where Neil Young sings -

" I wanna see you dance again...'

Still hurts...

The Art of Coarse Hilarity...

While there's very little to laugh about these days, with such depressing headlines and worse to come, Scrobs, as is his wont, reverts to humorous writings by some of the funniest citizens past and present!

Over the years, I've collected most of Michael Green's books, starting from his Coarse Sport series, and now giggling though his two autobiographies!

This is the sequel to his first hilarious volume of his early life, 'The boy who shot down an airship' and one short passage has me laughing out loud every time I remember it...   

It's a description of a somewhat hopeless cricketer friend of Green's, who, like many of us, just enjoyed the game, possibly without ever scoring, or  doing anything else on the field for that matter!

So this character, Alistair, having scored yet another duck, strolls back to the pavilion, and asks the scorer, 'a little crippled lad', how many runs did he score! The scorer, Dave, who was also the team secretary and clerk, looks up and exclaims, "Blimey Alistair, you didn't get any, what made you think you did"?

"I thought I hit a four in the first over" Alistair says hopefully, and Dave would double up with laughter and say something like, "If you ever hit a four Alistair, my prick's a blowlamp"! Everyone present would dissolve into hysteria!

And just typing this has got me chuckling uncontrollably to myself...!