Just recently, I needed something which would normally be stocked by an ironmonger.
We used to have a shop near here where you could buy just about anything in that line of business, and if I went in and discussed my requirement with Peter the manager, he would listen intently, and head off to the dark corners of the shop and after a few thumps and squeaks, he would reappear with the said item.
But then he'd start to chat.
So, after clutching the small item, say half a dozen screws in a paper bag, I'd be subjected to a discussion on life as we know it, and also, after another half hour, I'd emerge from his shop with a wheelbarrow, three packets of weedkiller, a plug for an electric fan I didn't own and a gallon of parrafin.
I really miss that chap. We all liked him in the village, and I'd vowed that when I retired, I'd go and work for him behind the counter, but it wasn't to be...
24 comments:
The demise of the traditional ironmonger's shop is one of the great unsung tragedies of our times. In the past two decades, we have sadly lost both our village version, an eclectic establishment able to supply anything from 10" pizza tins to a wooden-handled skipping rope (with an owner very similar to the one you describe), and the larger one in town.
My first encounter with the latter was just after we moved; the unusual bathroom taps in our new house required washers specific to that make and model, which went out of production some some 25 years before. The brown-coated gentleman behind the counter peered at the worn-out washer I showed him, sucked his teeth in the time-honoured fashion, vanished for several minutes and then reappeared with a small, battered box containing exactly what I needed; he even insisted on charging me the ludicrously small price pencilled on the lid of the box two decades before.
You don't get that happening in B&Q.
Your shop didn't start with an 'M' and end in a 'Y', did it Macheath?
I was at school with the son of the original owner, and he was also a master craftsman on locks as well! I wish I understood such subjects better, as even after taking a Union cylinder lock apart, and eventually getting it to work again, it's the sort of engineering I crave...
By then, Peter would have sold me twelve packets of seeds and a saucepan!
Sadly shops and the clever people who ran them seem to be mainly extinct and the builders merchants etc of today staffed by phone gazing idiots....internet has to suffice now sadly.
There used to be one in Lancaster just like that. There was a certain smell when you went in that made your nostrils flare because you never knew what he had stored away in old packets etc, and what else was hidden behind the usual items on show. Could he possibly have a replacement Calor-gas lamp mantle of the correct size, a tube of black lead for your old fire range, fly spray and smoke bombs for your greenhouse that actually worked, and a candlestick holder to replace the one that was missing when you bought a pair of antique Georgian ones on eBay. Of course he did and all went into a brown paper bag with the ends twisted so they wouldn't fall out, and when you left it was with a smile and a "Thank you Sir, please call again." Now that's what you call service!
It started with an H, not an M, but it sounds very similar in that it was definitely a family business, as I suspect many of them were.
The death-knell for H was Robert Dyass opening two streets away - cheaper, flashier and with all the clout of a national chain.
Dyas have a shop in Maidstone, which, although it is supposed to be our County Town, is a dump these days. Chavs adorn, and business wanes, so to speak...
There used to be a super ironmonger in a small town near here, Cranbrook, where there was a bloke who would welcome you with open arms as soon as you walked in the door! He almost cried when you asked him if he had such and such...
I wanted some garden twine once, and he went off muttering 'fillis' 'fillis', and returned with a huge grin, having clipped a reel off the rope hanging from the ceiling by the door!
I used to ring the church bells with the daughter of the owner of the shop - but again, not a lot of people will be even half-interested with that...
It's surprising just what us lot are interested in.
Goosey, one of my first jobs with a great firm was a retail park in Lancaster!
It was too far to drive to and fro in one day, so my chum, Ian had to share a room in a Travelodge with Steve (farts disallowed - sorry but that was the case...), and the job was finished on time and on budget!
It's still too far to drive for my present state of oldness though...
(Maybe I'll get younger, so watch out..;0)
Thud, you an' me may well have the same guiding star.
You created a fabulous place for your family and your mum, and by a bit of networking and a bit of news-search, I know the house now, and well done you!
I don't know if you still have ironmongers like the one I knew, but I don't half miss them!
Michael - what was the name of the retail park in Lancaster? I can't believe we were so near and yet so far! As for bell-ringing, I'd love to have a go at that but, being of a slim stature and a gentle nature, I might make a clanger by disappearing into the upper regions where the bells are hung, bang my back on a beam and come back down looking like the daughter of the Hunchback of Notre Dame; however I might just win the Pullitser Prize for my booklet on Cockersand Abbey but don't hold your breath!
Thirty years ago there were two such places in our town but they soon folded when B&Q opened. One was a really old-fashioned place where you could just buy a single six-inch nail if that was all you wanted.
Goosey, I think another post should be dedicated to your comment, so leave it with me!
As you are so petite, slender, wisplike even...you would have no problem ringing a bell, because it is the hefty ones who make all the mistakes!
Some years ago, there was a lovely lady poster here, Phillipa, (Pips) who started ringing bells, and I had to take her in hand... Not literally of course, but she needed a little guidance, but that didn't go down at all well!
I'll think on it.
As for the Lancaster Retail park, I can't find out what happened to it, but it went up in around 1995, and was developed by our clients, Citygrove. I know times were pretty poor then, because the guys who were the project managers at my firm usually shared a room to save cash! It was a long way to drive and needed a two-day trip.
For me, when I was at the same firm, the longest day I had was from here to Sheringham (Cromer), and back with two other stops on the way. That did'nt beat the day trip I had to do to Darlington, but that's yet another post...
One of those nails was about sixpence, I recall Mr H!
They were indeed huge, and heavy too.
Peter would have sold me an electric drill and a pint of liquid fertiliser before I'd got out of the door...
He was the only man I ever knew who sold NPK fertiliser draught, in a paper bag!
All this is so reminiscent of the TV comedy "Open All Hours" for which I have all the DVDs, and I love to watch them as it reminds me of some days in my childhood when things were much simpler, and the satisfaction of the customer was paramount because they'd keep coming back. I am fortunate to have two places in town where I get that sort of service. One was where I bought my birthday outfits, and the other is both a shoe shop and a jewellers. BTW, I didn't misspell Pullitser as it was a pun on bellringing as in pull-it-sir!
Goodness me! Go away for a couple of days in the sun and come back to acres of stuff to read!
Out here in the sticks we have several one-man/woman-band shops which sell most of what you have described. We have one chain of would-be B&Q copycats which are excellent on product lines, but rather less so on staff actually having an idea - and where to find it in the aisles of goddies - of what they are actually selling. But a bit of hunting in likely aisles usually produces the goods. Of late we have also been introduced to another wannabe B&Q who sell an enormous range of goods - except the bit that you are actually looking for.
I have had a 2ft long steel bar hanging about for a few weeks so bosswoman suggested it might be a good idea to fix it to the wall so it could be used as a towel rail. Being an obedient fellow, I hurried off to the second of one of the emporiums/emporia mentioned to seek a couple of steel cups into which to plug the ends of the rail before screwing it to the wall. The shop had everything - including rails with cups already attached - but no little packets of end bits with which to do a bit of diy. This is the third time recently this shop has been unable to produce simple bits and pieces needed for everyday jobs around the house.
On my way home, I called into the local hardware shop (which I usually use when I need bits and pieces) and found lots of packets of the bits I was seeking. Job done.
First of all, Reevers, why didn't you into that shop first to save yourself a journey plus petrol costs? Secondly, and looking at this from a different angle, why is it nowadays that you can buy something electrical or whatever, then in a couple of years they stop making the spare parts? Yes - the answer is to get you to buy a newer model then it's Groundhog Day all over again! Thank God there are still people around who hoard things that might come in useful some day. The trouble is finding them. PS - why are the Captcha images so blurry?
Good question, the answer to which is that I had to go into the mall (shopping centre to you Brits) where the hardware emporium is located to visit other shops for other purchases, and I thought I might find the bits I wanted in said emporium while I was in the mall, which strikes me as a sensible decision even though it transpired they did not have what I wanted.
I have piles of useful things - eg my first electric drill (I do have a modern one too!) given to me by my long departed favourite aunt for my 16th birthday all those years ago - and still working fine - and ex-coffee bottles containing nuts, bolts, screws and bibs and bobs that date back to the 1950s and still do a good job today if I am looking for a particular bit of whatever that dates back to my teens.
Re elecrical parts, have you tried to locate a bayonet-base lightbulb recently? We seem to have now gone 100% screwy - which means that in due course I am going to have to refit all our table lamps to take screw bulbs. I thought that particular change was pushed on everybody by the EU's lunatic control freak regulations, and I had been labouring under the impression that SE Asia was not (yet!) part of the EU empire. Even the Chinese don't seem to make bayonet bulbs any more - and, just in case there are any electrical PHD holders on here, old fogeys like me would be grateful for an explanation of how the newly rated bulbs equate with the old 40, 60 and 100 watts that we all grew up with. I look at all these new completely differently rated and shaped bulbs but still have no idea of their brightness and what wattage (or whatever it is) I need for my lamps without being dazzled by the glare! One thing I have been unable to locate is an electric doorbell that goes ring-ring instead of bing-bong. I wonder if they still exist?
I don't know why Captcha as such a pain in the butt, but it drives me up the wall sometimes when it just refuses to let me in, especially if I am using my handphone when away from the computer and have just completed a lengthy reply to somebody! It would be extremely helpful if it could be programmed to actually remember previous contributors to obviate unnecessary rises in blood pressures of (older!) users.
(Just taken me 10 goes to get approved!)
Reevers, Captcha comes with Blogger, so I can't control it! Whenever I do a post, I don't bother ticking anything, but it may be different for you! Try ignoring it, I can see spam at any time so there's no need for security like that!
And Goosey, why is a 'Groundhog Day' so important?
Cheers Scrobs! I have looked at this house a couple of times lately, good project I think with room for me to do fun stuff with kids too. It is however a bit of a drive to the grammar we have chosen so it may well be a 'might have been'.
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-54257163.html
Michael, by Groundhog Day I meant you keep doing the same things over and over again. Mea culpa rvi re- your sensible and efficient way of shopping. We can still get bayonet bulbs here so don't know why you can't. I found the light emitted by the previous generation of energy-saving bulbs meant I spent more on candles that I saved in electricity. Recently we've managed to find ones roughly equivalent to the old 60w bulbs. Here's a link that should explain it all:
https://www.energuide.be/en/questions-answers/which-new-generation-light-bulb-corresponds-to-my-old-bulb/205/
You can also get bayonet to screw adaptors (B22 to a E27 converter) on eBay. Hope this sheds some light on your problem!
Sorry Scrobs
I have just spent nearly 20 minutes buggering about with Captcha. So long, it was good chatting to you over the years.
RVI
rvi - DON'T LEAVE US, PLEASE DON'T! We will ever be bereft of your fountain of knowledge, not to mention your major contributions regarding, er, um. Michael, do something or I'll never forgive you!
Reevers, this is awful. I'm on the case as we speak, especially as Goosey has threatened all sorts of things, some of which I may like of course...
I've been searching for ways round this, as there are other anti-spam filters, but if you have a moment, Google the problem, as you're not alone. I don't actually remember putting Captcha on the site, as I rarely got spam, but in the past, quite a lot has got through, which mucked up one particular post badly.
In the meantime, why not email me the comment you want to place, and I'll do it from here. It's a bit of a bind, but all I can do until I sort it all out for you. scroblene(aaattttt)gmail.com and I'll do the business this end.
No need for names or pack-drill, your secrecy is sacrosanct here of course.
And my name really is Michael, but friends all call me Mike...
I've tried to help out by posting a couple of links that may help but he's probably gone into this area of which I know nothing about, so it will probably be regarded as useful as a chocolate fireguard. My life's motto is "Where there's a will there's a way" but his name is Mike so I cannot guarantee any success; however God loves a trier.
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