Mrs Scroblene and Scrobs were invited to a chum's house recently, for a few sherberts and prawn things It was a delightful evening, with several friends chatting in the lovely garden, and refills occurring at regular intervals.
Since I left the business networking circuits to their own devices, I sort of approach meeting people differently now. There is no pressure for a 'result', (i.e. a chance to get some business), I can be at ease with whatever subject crops up, and, better still, I have Mrs Scroblene to bounce discussions off at will, whereas in the past, I had to think for myself, which is unnerving after three bottles in Finos!
On this occasion, the glasses were full, the smoked salmon flying around, and all was well. But Mrs Scroblene, later on, told me that she had experienced what I occasionally had to put up with back in the smoky wine bars. (No not a groper...)!
It was the 'person who stands too close'! (A lady chum this time).
We've known - let's call her Dagmar - for years, but whenever we've seen her, she is wrestling with unruly dogs, which always cause JRT to raise her hackles and show various teeth, so all our discussions have been at a distance of several yards. We like Dagmar, she's very articulate and good looking - even across a busy road at dog-lead-length, with a gorgeous daughter who recently got married, so she seems to play by the rules as well.
But Dagmar wanted to talk at length to Mrs Scroblene and others, and every time she did, she stepped closer for some reason, and Mrs Scroblene had to step back. Her space had been invaded, I nearly had to rescue her from a flower bed next door, and it was unusual to realise that this sort of thing still happens! One's 'bubble' is endangered, and even if the invader is an old chum, it's still not a social grace is it!
There used to be a bloke on the circuit in London, who got so close - with everyone - that he was feared in case he actually managed to get behind you by sort of morphing through you, so you'd have to carry on the conversation through the back of your head!
Anyway, all was well after the bubble was restored and Dagmar went off to stand on someone else's toes and bellow instructions...
11 comments:
A chap at work was like that. Pleasant enough but slightly domineering and didn't seem to realise he was doing it.
They never do, apparently, Mr H!
It's an odd phenomenon, but just aches occasionally...
A not unusual experience...
I was in a similar situation some years ago when an overbearing attendee at a reception kept getting closer (and in the way of me being able to easily raise my glass!).
Gradually I stepped backwards away from him and on one fateful step accidentally elbowed the very senior lady boss (not mine!) standing behind me square in/on her not unsubstantial left boob. She said "Ouch". I said "Oops, sorry". She smiled and said "Never mind, I do have another one".
See, some lady bosses do have a sense of humour (and bruises in the most unusual places!). A similar recurrence these days would of course have the county wimmin's libbers round with their pitchforks.
During a seminar on some ology or another many years ago our lecturer put forward what is now so obvious. If a North American and a South American start a conversation at one end of a room by the time the conversation is over they'll be at the other end.
Worth reading for the chuckle at the end.
It's usually the dogs that invade the personal space, not the owners.
Best tip in such situations. Stand side on. It doesn't seem so uncomfortable for some reason and you can give the impression of listening extra carefully.
Observation suggests that it seems to run in families; I can think of several instances where, at some school function, an unfortunate tutor has tried to explain that a child has not yet grasped the concept of personal space only to find that the parent is shuffling ever closer as the conversation progresses.
Jannie, that is so true!
I'd also consider that one may well be trying to escape the other...
Dogs do that, Elecs - usually, in the case of JRT, with a mouthful of teeth...
Marvellous, and lucky you, Reevers! No doubt a matching pair!
Sorry, Elecs, I meant to add that your sideways-on technique is an excellent ploy, and does indeed work extremely well, but I find that I eventually go round 360 degrees...
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