Thursday, 31 July 2014

Fannit and the poo scandal...



Scrobs and BP had another meeting in Broadstairs yesterday. It was in the afternoon, so there was no question of getting there for a leisurely lunch and strolling in to the clients all relaxed and happy!

Ooooh no...

BP always manages to drive several miles an hour faster than the speed merchants, and yesterday was no exception. I suspect that some of the trees and hedgerows are still waving after the passing of a great big car at breakneck speed! My left hand still aches and is stuck in a claw shape from holding on to that funny handle up over the door! The trip took us less than the past record of one hour forty minutes...

The meeting went off OK, and we may be able to get back there again, but the real issue is more basic! Will the sewage still be flowing in the bays around the island?

Apparently, as the story goes, there has been a monumental back up, or cock up, of the brown stuff, which meant that the council or the utilities, or whoever is trying to shift the blame, have to release the latest amounts of pure unadulterated turds etc, directly into the sea!

Now everybody who has seen a seaside, knows that citizens rather like to paddle, or swim in the gently lapping water, and some go surfing, or sailing in it as well. But the holidaymakers, who have saved all their pennies for a week in Margate, Broadstairs, or Ramsgate, have been advised not to go in the water!

What a fiasco! It seems that they either let the sea fill up with detritus, or some basements nearby would get the same turdal treatment, so the former was chosen by the powers that be, and now, right at the beginning of the holiday season, the simple pleasure of swimming with fish, is replaced with the reeking distaste of  the breast-stroke with bonsters!

Of course, no heads will roll, council pensions are still piling up, holidays elsewhere will be the norm. The council are a funny bunch up there, and still trying to work out why Manston Airport - the other name for the ridiculously named 'Kent International Airport', has gone pop, and nobody wants to fly from there.

I can solve all these quandaries at a stroke!

There are several old but airworthy bangers still parked on the runways, waiting for a job, so load them all up with the effluent, and take the stuff further out to sea! Simple! They could drop it all over the wind farm to disperse the pong! At least it'll keep the eco-freaks happy for once!

6 comments:

Weekend Yachtsman said...

No doubt the council were going through the motions.

Boom, boom!

A K Haart said...

You remember when global warming was going to cause droughts and we needed to know all about drought resistant plants for our gardens?

Well this sewage overflow was simply caused by too much liquid drought.

Scrobs... said...

Ha ha ha, Mr Y!

The motions were carried, but not far enough apparently!

Scrobs... said...

Ha ha ha, again, Mr H!

That comment is exceptionally dry, and deserves an answer...

I come out in a hot flush whenever I consider the muck that the Goodwin Sands are made from...

rvi said...

As usual the council give the wrong advice. Since these once very pretty seaside towns were invaded by "incomers", the council should be doing its damndest to persuade them all to go in for a bathe - and hopefully catch the local version of the deadly lurgy. Follow the Injuns who all gladly leap into the Ganges, one of the most polluted rivers in the world.

Why can't these public servants ever do anything right?

Scrobs... said...

Jobsferlife, I expect, Reevers!

It's crazy that the infrastructure of a system of drainage has been so woefully overloaded here!

Luckily, as you may know from previous posts here, we're totally independent for drainage, and we don't live anywhere near Margate either!