Thursday, 31 March 2011

The carpenter's yarn - priceless...


A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed.

The lawyer for the defendant was trying to discredit him and asked him how far away he was from the accident.

The carpenter replied, "Twenty-seven feet, six and one half inches."

"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?" asked the lawyer.

"Well, I knew sooner or later some idiot would ask me, so I measured it!" replied the carpenter.


h/t Davethespread

13 comments:

rvi said...

So, the carpenter replied in carefully measured tones.

But what has all that to do with the photograph of a gentlemen who appears to be riding some ancient contraption in a muddy field.

Or am I missing something?

lilith said...

Haha! He probably measured it twice.

Modo said...

Have you been sitting near an open tin of varnish my old chum?

Scrobs... said...

That's a pic of my Uncle Jack Reevers! He bought that old Fordson Major in the fifties, and levelled the rest of the couple of acres which he shared with my dad.

It didn't have tyres, just those 'Jurassic Park' studs on the wheels, and was an absolute beast!

It caught fire once, and dad rushed down with our red 'ecksting-goosher' to put it out! I can still see the flames, and hear my uncle shouting out at the top of his voice...

Scrobs... said...

Probably did Lils!

I just love the simplicity of a real expert putting down someone like that!

Scrobs... said...

Modo! Sir it is good to hear from you - again...

When I was at school, we used to have to melt glue on a paraffin stove, before we applied it to the various rebates and joints (non-herbal) which had taken a whole term to cut out...

It must have been a serious health hazard what with a naked flame billowing within 9" of a pot of volatile brown gook; so, to answer your question; Yes!

Modo said...

Hence I suppose dope from: -

Aeronautics. Any of various varnish like products for coating a fabric, as of airplane wings, in order to make it waterproof, stronger, etc. Or a similar product used to coat the fabric of a balloon to reduce gas leakage.

Being used for: -

Slang. As in any narcotic or narcotic like drug taken to induce euphoria or satisfy addiction. Or a narcotic preparation given surreptitiously to a horse to improve or retard its performance in a race.

Possible effects observed: -
Informal. a stupid or unresponsive person.

And rather oddly: -
North Central U.S. (chiefly Ohio). syrup used as a topping for ice cream.

Blue Eyes said...

:-))

Philipa said...

Excellent!

As I went to my history thing I noticed there was a day this week I hadn't visited Scroblene... blimey I must have been busy! I will pen a post immediately to make it worth popping by mine xx

Scrobs... said...

Indeed Modo!

And I can remember doping plane wings until they pinged like a drum too...

Asermattererfack, the very shelves I made are still being used (quite a long way from anyone having too actually see them, mind you,) but they are a treasuered piece of 'furniture'! Just...

Scrobs... said...

Thanks Blues! I see you have an eye for detail too...

Scrobs... said...

Pips, I'd noticed you'd been out for a long run!

Did you know that if you Google 'Scroblene' images, all the pics come out of the woodwork, including that shop in Tenterden, where I found the place where you bought (or had bought for you) a silver jewellry piece!

Just goes to show that you're famous again!

Thud said...

It seems he could measure better than my plasterer!