Thursday, 19 March 2009

Maths lesson...

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1. Teaching Maths In 1970

A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the selling price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980

A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the selling price, or £800.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990

A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000.
His cost of production is £800.
Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000

A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000.
His cost of production is £800 and his profit is £200.
Your assignment: Underline the number 200.

5. Teaching Maths In 2008

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is totally selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.
He does this so he can make a profit of £200. What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.
If you are upset about the plight of the animals in question counselling will be available)

6. Teaching Maths 2018

أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانتاج من> الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟
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20 comments:

lilith said...

Ah ha ha ha scrobbers!

Tuscan Tony said...

Excellent one scrobbles!

wv: darbals - the Gorbals in 2050

rvi said...

Have you been reading the TES website again you naughty man?

Scrobs said...

Lils, YD sent it through yesterday, and I think it's a howl! (or a hywl - depending where you live...)

Scrobs said...

Thanks TT, I think your wv comment is funnier actually...

Scrobs said...

Reevers, because I'm in thick mode, I don't know wich one that is...

BTW, have you seen the new Google 'Streetview' site yet? Marvellous stuff! Great for my business, staring into plots of land and stuff...

I sent a shot of a favourite pub in Cardiff (Champers/Brasserie, St Mary's Street) to a pal this morning, and we both drooled and revelled for ages in the memory of days when we had expenses, and used to reel out at about 4.30pm, leant on the railings outside, and wondered a) how are we going to get home, and b) where can we go next...

rvi said...

Scrobs: TES - Times Educational Supplement... If you highlight your bogus Arabic script and right click on it a box saying search Google for dotdashsquiggle will appear. The Google page I looked at yesterday showed this entry up in the TES website, although it appears to not do so this morning among the many others carrying this "joke". But your name and a link to this entry appears. You are being watched!!

I am not familiar with the Streetview site, nor really with Cardiff. The last time I was there was over 30 years ago when I was accompanying a group of foreign gentlemen on a 2-day visit. We stayed in a hotel just outside the castle. On their final night after their hosted dinner and theyhad all returned safely to the hotel, I decided to wander about a bit on my own and get a bit of fresh air before turning in. As I went out of the hotel I noticed the doorman grinning broadly. I smiled at him and commented that he looked very happy in his work. He explained that he had been asked by the group leader to arrange some, er, entertainment for them. He told me that a quick phone call resulted in several items of entertainment all high heels and severely short skirts arriving within minutes of the call and that it was the easiest five hundred quid he had ever made.

Scrobs said...

Ha ha ha Reevers!

Fame at last - but look at how long this has been batting round the ether!

Love the Cardiff yarn too!

Actually, Champers is just at the other end of the street you were in...

mutleythedog said...

All those were pretty easy apart from the last one... was that what you intended?

Scrobs said...

Mutters, I struggled on the 2000 one, but persevered...

The last one was easy, because anyone can read stuff written by people with two left hands!

electro-kevin said...

Ha ha !

What a fantastic post !

I so want to poach this off you.

Scrobs said...

Elecs, be my Guest - use it by all means!

It's been doing the rounds and I reckon it has spluttered a few keyboards already!

Anonymous said...

I think perhaps for the sake of symmetry one should point out that modern mathematics actually began with the Arabs.

Of course, that was before they started worshipping dark-age paedophile death-cults...

idle said...

The answer to the final question is: Ahmed has enough cloth to make five shalwar kameez, three burkas and one dishdash.

Bill Quango MP said...

Very good.
However I have been affected by the events in the 5th question.
What number should I phone?

Scrobs said...

Sorry to disagree Anon 9.25, but that's very wrong!

Mathemetics began at 9.15am on Mondays and Thursdays with Miss Pilchard-Nargworth entering the room with an entourage of Pekinese dogs and a teak chalk duster, with which she belayed anyone within striking distance.

She also owned a Sunbeam Talbot, and smoked a pipe.

Scrobs said...

Many thanks Idle, I have to admit I was a bit stumped on that one...

I'm also glad I don't live in Dubai, but I'm not sure the two are connected.

Scrobs said...

Billers... er Quangers...er YOUNG MAN!!!

Presumably the number will be found on the inside lid of a certain Minister's red box...

hatfield girl said...

I couldn't do these but I've just passed physics gcse after taking the tests posted in the papers.

(Only I don't understand how anyone knows they've passed a gcse so perhaps I haven't).

Reluctant Blogger said...

haha this is fab as are the comments.

And so true.