Monday, 12 January 2009

The curse of Sagtrouser...

I only went to the local Builders Merchants to buy a single brass screw.

Mr Elias Sagtrouser is a wily, yet gentle man; always ready to spot a deal, and that is what happened!

I finished up ordering 1000 brass screws, a septic tank cosy, three hectares of insulation, a set of Indonesian pelmets for the greenhouse, enough scaffolding to cover the QE2, seventy-eight planks of mahogany of various sizes, and a large flatpack kitchen, which was on offer!

Wayne Noggis, the driver, was new to the job that day, and as I idly watched the stuff being loaded from a balcony above 'Toilet bowls, Bidets and other washing comestibles' (sic), the sight as recorded below caused me to become slightly concerned...

video

21 comments:

Blue Eyes said...

To coin a phrase: D'oh!

Tuscan Tony said...

Blimey scrobs! I presume you were the chap dressed as a manager who after a few seconds walked calmly in to the warehouse, took a look at the dust and promptly peeled back to his office, not fancying getting his suit dry-cleaned. Quite right too.

rvi said...

A brilliant cinematic rendition of 11 years of New Labour economics. Well done, sir.

fuchsia groan said...

Blimey, Scroblene. I know the feeling. Many's the time I've gone into Waitrose for a loaf of bread and spent over £50 :-(

idle said...

Bummer.

Scrobs,re Zantzinger comment chez lilith - see this, from Mark Steyn:
http://www.steynonline.com/content/view/1633/28/

Scrobs said...

Blues - yes, quite a lot of spillage there...

Scrobs said...

Tuscs - I bet he was a bit of a boy-racer in the car park too!

Scrobs said...

RVers - perfect for the Cameroon manifesto; 'A graphic Result'...

I'll tell him!

Scrobs said...

Fusciers - and it always costs just a little bit more in Waitrose...

Scrobs said...

Thanks Iders! That is the best report I;ve seen so far.

It was the first song I ever learned to play - and sing, but back then, it was very difficult to get published words!

So my version was 'Williamson Singer killed poor Hattie Carroll', and a bit later 'And about my hotel etc etc...

It was also very easy to play with a harmonica attached to one's cherubic face with a bent metal coathanger!

Daisy said...

i would be very careful the places you go scrobs...first they ply you with sales beyond your need...then they try to kill you with merchandise you don't buy...what is going on over there...lol

lilith said...

Poor Mr Sagtrouser! Perhaps this is actually an allegory of the current situation in Dubai..as per an earlier post. I hear that we are expecting repatriations on a massive scale from the sand pit...

electro-kevin said...

Scrobs, on his own, kickstarts the ailing British economy.

It started here, folks !!!

Scrobs said...

Dear Daisers!

Thank goodness there are people like you - even miles away where planes crash into rivers and we all feel happy because nobody is hurt.

What's happening over here?

Utter disgrace of our 'ruling government'. They are the pits of the world and deserve to be crucified.

On the other hand, there's You and Me, most of the others, and we can beat the lot of them one day...

Scrobs said...

Actually Lils, you are 100% right.

One of my oldest friends has been working on one of the new developments there, (Dubai) but the bottom has fallen out of - even their - market and redundancies are rife in building.

I fear for the Sagtrouser brigade, with whom I have a long heartfelt affinity, and really hope they'll survive.

All the bullshit spouted by Prescott and his inferior oafs has had a zilch effect on real prosperity in building.

All he did was inflate the prospects of hopeful builders as well as his own total incompetence in understanding anything which smacked of commercial viability.

But there again, all this nulab crowd couldn't understand anything commercial either. They're all losers, that's why they go into politics.

We really do have a cataclysmic meltdown in property development at the monet and it's all down to the communist bunch of tossers we pay far too much to 'run' this country.

Bastards the lot of them!

Scrobs said...

Elecs - I envy you as you have a great job doing something which I admire.

I couldn't kick start a Vespa - especially as Tuscs seems to own them all... but,,,

Tomorrow (Monday) I have a huge meeting where I might just be able to squeeze a big UK company into working with my own company to get a big hotel developed. It's a long shot, but in between the hours of sleep, (few), I still hope we can crack it!

And we fucking well will.

Daisy said...

scrobs...just don't look to this side of the pond for reasoning in the governmental area...i think this is the first time in my life i have truly been scared about the next 4 years...and we have had some doozy presidents in my time but none that scared me...eh maybe i'm just getting crotchety?

Scrobs said...

Daisers - this side of the pond is a mire of fear too...

There really is nobody with proper business experience at the helm, and don't expect bankers to help - they started it all in the first place, and don't politicians love them with all their money.

Philipa said...

don't expect bankers to help - they started it all in the first place, and don't politicians love them with all their money.

never a truer word, except they also love them with all our money.

Trubes said...

Hello Scrobbers: What a delightful name Sagtrouser...the mind boggles as to how that was acquired!
I see the ever bountiful Goverment is now pouring millions into apprenticeship training schemes...What a they going to train em all in?..... Giving out tea and biscuits at the job Centre dole queues perhaps...

Hope all is well at Scrblene Turrets....sorry I havn't been in touch lately but have been rather busy as you will see on my site!

Hope you clinched the deal you were negotiating.

Di.xx

killemallletgodsortemout said...

Phuuuuuuuuuuuck!