Saturday, 16 August 2008

Friday, Friday...

So, anyway, there we were, sitting around on the building site, thinking of the weekend just coming up, when Bert strolled into the site hut and mentioned casually that there was a little water coming in and he was going to take the van down to Pugbucket and Sagtrouser, (Plant Hire), for a small pump, just to pull out any spare water which may get in the way over the next few days, and give the place a chance to dry out.


George looked at him through an alcoholic haze and muttered something like 'You do what you want old son; me and Bill are going back round to 'The Bells', for a couple of pints and watch some cricket on the widescreen'.

Well, anyway, the 'couple of pints', turned into a right old session, as the blokes from the tower block came in, and they'd already been celebrating a topping out. Bert eventually got back from the plant hire, (having stopped to buy some fags, The Sun and a six pack of Guinness), and started up the pump.



Well, it was a hot day, and with one thing and another, the site hut was becoming more sultry, so Bert opened another can of Guinness and read the paper for a few minutes, before he dozed off...

There was a slight rumbling coming from the foundations, which seemed to be getting louder, but as everyone was in 'The Bells', and Bert was asleep with the paper over his face, nobody seemed to care. All the crane drivers had gone home early, and someone had taken the site phone off the hook.

It was unclear what actually happened next, but Bert woke up with a start, as the rumbling had turned quite a bit louder, and there was a whooshing noise coming from the founds.





At this point, panic set in, but it was far too late, and all that digging had gone to waste! Bert picked up his mobile, and called his Boss...





George's mobile was on answerphone...

16 comments:

idle said...

What a terrific tale. They were better off getting arseholed in the pub than on-site. The damage had already been done.

Can they redeeem the situation?

Lilith said...

Incredible post Scrobs. OMG! Tell me that is not your building project...please.

Scroblene said...

Fear ye not young Lils - the site is not a million miles from Dubai...

It looks like the site huts went in too - so you can tell that the story is not all that it seems...;0)

Scroblene said...

Iders, it used to be like that, going to the pub and staying out of harm's way.

Nowadays, subbies don't get paid in readys, the cheque goes directly to Poland - and why not, they'll use it better than McBrown's disaster fund over here...

Don't know if they mended the hole, looks quite nice as it is doesn't it?

Lilith said...

PHEW! Fantastic post and pics. Poor sods.

fred dipstick said...

I trust everything is to your satisfaction, sir?

Fred Dipstick
Man Dir
Instant Pools R Us
Poole

Greeble said...

I knew you'd crop up somewhere Dipstick!

Every time we get a sniff of a job, 'Pools R Us' get there first!

Just wait until the Solent job comes up, we'll win that one I can assure you!

Arthur Greeble
Man Dir,
Lagoons R Us Ltd.,
Bournemouth

Daisy said...

that was superb...you had me by the fish hook this morning!

and classic that the phone was on answerphone...just classic!

Trubes said...

Yikes Scrobbers I was beginning to think that this was one of your projects, thankfully not!
The lads wouldn't have been able to go for a pint in Dubai though, as they don't allow alcohol out there do they?

Hope all is well at Chez Scrobs; i've posted a little yarn about mothers-in-law and looking for some male input.

Di.xx

Scroblene said...

Dippers and Greebers...

I suspect 'waterwars' here...

Any chance of a quote for draining the hole then?

Scroblene said...

Daisers...

Fish hooks are pretty painful under the circumstances!

Can you imagine the message: 'I'm in 'The Bells' wiv me mates, an' won't pick this up...if there's an emergency; so what...

;0)

Scroblene said...

Trubes; I'll be over...

electro-kevin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
electro-kevin said...

I started out in building.

One of the contracts I worked on was the Oxford Street Plaza.

There was a terrible problem with the water table flooding the footings as they were being excavated. The architects and engineers decided to solve the problem by committee while a diesel powered pump was left in the hole keeping the water at bay ...


... the site agent came back from the pub and said "Fuck it - fill the hole in with concrete and leave the pump there."

We did this - problem solved at a stroke. (It was sad to hear the poor little engine choking on its last breaths)

Economically it made perfect sense too.

A beer and a fag - wars won and problems solved in a thrice.

fred dipstick said...

Greebs, old fellow, nice to hear from you again. This little joblet was far too small for your corporate might to even bother with. You may have the Solent project with pleasure. We'll be looking at filling in a little hole somewhere along the Yangtze River, whence the Mrs and I have just returned, when one of the dams goes phut.

Philipa said...

OMG, Scrobs! What a great post. Where was it? I hope it wasn't your project.. :-{