Friday, 28 December 2007

The making of 'Scroblene'

There is a certain amount of pressure being applied from The Honorable Member for Tuscany, to reveal the origin of the name ‘Scroblene’.

I have thought long and hard as to how to respond, and agree that some explanation is appropriate, even if yet another layer of my privacy is exposed to the world, along with all my NI records which are on one of those CDs lost in transit, and, the small matter of certain 'evidence' (pah!) now in the possession of Tunbridge Wells CID...

The name evolved from a bastardised version of similar names, which circulate inside a confused mind…

Rene Blosc was the owner of a small Pernod café on the Caen Canal. (not the one by Pegasus Bridge, but on the other side). Rene had a daughter, Giselle-Dubonnet, who looked after the customers, sometimes many times… When the old bridge was demolished in 1994, the contractors actually managed to disturb the foundations to such an extent that the whole building slid slowly into the water and was never seen again! Rene Blosc lives on under an ‘assumed’ name*, but Giselle-Dubonnet married a passing quantity surveyor, and now lives near Droitwich with eight children and a brindle spaniel called Collette.

S.R.Benecol was a part-time margerine futures broker, who spent most of his life being hounded by large corporations to give his name to a new type of health food. He surrendered eventually, taking temporarily, the name S.R.Beconase – (not to be sniffed at); but was again badgered by large firms until his untimely death in suspicious circumstances not unconnected with a toasting fork and a small nasal inhaler.

Senor Compadrione Ricardo O’Blene, was a monk from the fifteenth century, who is believed to have been the role model for a traditional rugby ditty, concerning a foray into the less salubrious parts of London town, and, it’s dire consequences. He is buried somewhere, but nobody actually knows where, and most people aren’t really that bothered…

We are getting there though aren’t we? Lilith was once so close, she was breathing down my neck; which is a uniquely pleasant experience from which I have not totally recovered…

*Eric

39 comments:

Daisy said...

the mystery is revealed...actually i never wondered...just figured you picked a name you wanted and went with it...there are other questions however...but they will come with time...(i know you are thinking what can this american woman possibly be wanting to know)...in time...all will be...revealed :)

idle said...

I vote that Daisy reveals all. Maybe let Theo make a post out of it.

Daisy said...

now where is the strategy in revealing everything at once idle? a woman needs to hold a few secrets back to keep them coming back for more...

The Hitch said...

just what tablets have you taken scrobs?
Would you like me to call a nurse?

Scroblene said...

Morning Hitch!

Stains of course, and that's about it really...

Marvellous idea though; thanks - can I specify what sort of nurse please...

Is this the new business then; 'Hitchogram - be anyone you want', guaranteed to break the ice at parties!

Only you could make a fortune from it!

Lilith said...

Scroblene, Scroblene, Scroblene, Scroblene! Please don't take my man, just because you can.. Oh no. It was Jolene, wasn't it.

The Scroblene is a small but unusual writing desk at which our host writes all his most important compositions. I claim my £5.

The Hitch said...

lilith
Scrobs lives in a hut,he is a miser and taps into the unsecured wifi connections of others as he cycles about. A writing desk would be an extravagance.

Scroblene said...

Lilith! Ha ha ha! It does sound like a piece of furniture doesn't it! Perhaps there was a Scroblene maker in the village, turning out the desks by the handful, every time someone bought a new computer in 1864...

I actually used to work with a lovely lady named Jolene. She had been a Bluebell girl in her younger days, and we've lost touch! If she reads this can she ring me please, as I still owe her a fiver for buying a huge round of drinks in The Green Man in Ashbourne in 1978...

Scroblene said...

Hey now Hitch; you know me...my bike is securely locked away while I walk JRT; and I've just done three miles in the dark and fallen arse-over-head on a slippery bank... If I'd had WIFI, I'd have seen that one coming now wouldn't I!

The writing desk is a non-starter I'm afraid, but if Lilith wants to call one after me, then who am I to complain!

BTW, I'm on statins, not stains as previously reported...Apparently, they are required to stop the arterials from bogging up and stopping the day-break occuring when it should still be on the cards...

Scroblene said...

Daisers,

The three descriptions are not strictly true,...did you guess that? There has to be another one musn't there!

Lilith has to go through every single post she has made in the last nine months, and analyse each comment. Somewhere in her multitude of responses is a clue to the correct answer, so she may still be a winner...

Tuscan Tony said...

Daammit scrobs, so you're not Irish after all.

Thankfully you were not based on an anagram of Pegasus Bridge, which would have your blogger handle as "De Big Super Gas". Which would have made no sense at all, at all - unlike "scroblene".

In any case I have to say that I reckon this is all a pack of smoke and lies, and your nom-de-blog is something to do with phosgene.

Ed said...

I will never reveal why I call myself Ed

Daisy said...

scroblene i just figured you would keep a bit of mystery to yourself...which earns you even more respect...

electro-kevin said...

I'm no good at cryptic crosswords so I'll be buggered if I'm going to even try to work this one out.

Have a Happy New Year.

Lilith said...

Ok, then "Scroblene" is a wonder cleaning product, or an Australian woman you have not been able to forget...

Daisy said...

wanted to wish you and Mrs. S a happy new year scroblene...my new year's wish for you is that you find new things to keep your interest and your mind sharp...i throughly enjoy your writing and thank you for sharing...Lisa

Scroblene said...

Ohhhhhh Lilith!

You are so, so close! What's that delightful perfume...? Musk...oops watch it...er.... Mrs S approaches...


Da de dah de dah, (whistles...), 'No my dear, just talking to the others on the boring old blog...'

(Sound of Mrs S departing through the swing doors into the stables to look at 'Bonster', and see he has enough straw and feed for the night...)

Phew L, nearly got caught out then...

Scroblene said...

Daisers,

You are kindness personified!

This year is going to boom, (forgetting our awful weak government and work bits emanating...), and Mrs S is due a new hat in March, when Younger Daught gets betrothed...

I will be standing there, in charge of my few minutes glory, and have started the speech already!

You have a great New Year too - you deserve it!

Scroblene said...

Tuscs...Sorry chum! I did like your post btw, but somehow, my pc takes ages loading your comments page, and I went to sleep for a few moments...When I awoke, I'd forgotten what I was going to say, but it was a good post, and thankyou for sharing it with us!

Scroblene said...

Ed...Yer possibly right...but watch out for Lilith, 'cos she seems to know everything...!

Daisy said...

umm scroblene...that was suppose to read "thoroughly" but apparently at 4am i am not as sharp as i think i am at the time...glad you caught the sentiment at least...:)

how exciting to have a wedding early in the year...you must have a bold daughter, that is what my grandmother always said "if a bride is married before june, she is bold" ...i got married the end of july...i don't even remember why we picked that date, just seemed like the thing to do at the time so we did...

Trubes said...

Scrobes: You will see that I have changed my pseudonym, to Trubes by popular decree, particularly, that, most of my Blogging Chums, including your good self call me thus! I have left a little message for you on my new site.
Happy New year to You and Your lovely family in 2008

Love Di.xxx

Lilith said...

Hmmmm, thinks....Scroblene is a sub-personality: she is your inner colonial cleaning lady.

Lucien Modo said...

Bonster? Is this another child?

A happy evening to you all... hope that cough is better sir.

L

Lucien Modo said...

... and Mr. Hitch as there is no other way of contacting you other than through others... rather like a seance... then let me take this chance to wish you all the best too.
(if you are reading)

L

Lady Jane said...

Happy New Year Scrobs.. may it be a wonderful 2008 for you;-)

Scroblene said...

Janers - yer lovely! Please do the same and have Great New Year!

I'll be asleep by about ten, only to be woken up by Dennis and his pals in the church tower behind Scroblene Turrets at midnight!

Years ago, I used to be there; ringing the third bell, but sadly, it got too much of a bind, and I stopped after having to ring for three weddings in one afternoon! (and all the money I should have earned went to buying a set of handbells...bugger that...)!

Mrs S put her foot down, (nice actually...) and I'm glad she did, but still hanker after a few bell ringing changes here and there...

Scroblene said...

Marvellous to talk with you as ever Lucien!

Bonster is a fictoid name given to an unmentionable bodily function, and is in fact an aversion from 'Bouncer', who was a dog on 'Neighbours'!

LILITH .... ARE YOU LISTENING?

Scroblene said...

Lilith...you must be sitting next to me as I write this...!

I am confused a beguiled, and need a darkened shed with a power point so I can respond properly.

Have a lovely New Year, and keep guessing...

Mermaid of Moorgate said...

Happy new year Scrobes to you and yours! may 2008 be a good one for you!

Lilith said...

you can respond to me with your *power point* anytime sweetheart xxxx

Lilith said...

Scroblene is your imaginary South African aunt...

Scroblene said...

Merms, Thank you so much...and of course the same success which is due to you! Sorry not to have visited to put a comment with you, somehow this new pc is always slowing down to a crawl - probably due to all the anti-virus kit we all have to cope with these days! I'll keep trying!

Scroblene said...

Lilith; I was thinking more of a spreadsheet...;0)

You are still closest, and although I have a few friends in SA, I'm afraid an aunt isn't one of them. However, my old flatmate lives there, and he was once engaged to an absolute stunner (and good friend), who I think still lives there...

Can you please be less specific in future; these corpuscles are now on their third lap, and getting into gear...

Happy New Year to you and yours L, I hope everything works easy for you, and gets even better!

xxx

Scroblene said...

Elecs, Seem to have missed you, and that isn't right at all!

Kindest wishes to you and all the Elecs Clan! Keep that guitar man going too, he will be great when he is famous, and Youtube will be the place for him!

Sorry you've had to work over the hols though. When I was gainfully employed, I made sure I worked the three days between Christmas and New Year, and kept the days for better weather etc, In any case, there were only a few of us in the office (including the boss), and we used to go to the pub for three hours, then sober up for the next two... Much more fun!

electro-kevin said...

I remember the building trade (when I was in it) being a 4 1/2 day week all year - down the pub of a Friday afternoon and too wrecked to do anything but man the phones on site afterwards.

I was an assistant to a QS btw.

Tuscan Tony said...

CHanging the suybject entirely, I spotted on your "profile" that you are an admirer of "Yes"; I was a late arrival at their music, one of my fave albums is 90125, which brings back fond memories of bachelorhood and 3 week skiing holidays!

Lilith said...

You are Kylie Minogue and I claim my £5

ahmed said...

I have visted this site and got lots of information than that of i visited before a month.

work from home