Ode to Rachel...

Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table, at which he’s fed. 

Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes are the rule. 

Tax his work, Tax his pay - he works for peanuts anyway!

 

Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his trousers, Tax his coat.

 

Tax his ties, Tax his shirt, Tax his work and Tax his dirt. 

Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he tries to think. 

Tax his cigars, Tax his beers, If he cries then Tax his tears. 

Tax his car, Tax his gas, find any way to tax his ass! 

Tax him more, then let him know 

That you won’t be done 'til he has no dough

When he screams and when he hollers;

 

Then tax him more, take all his dollars

 

Then tax his coffin, Tax his grave, Tax the sod in which he’s laid… 

Put these words upon his tomb: ‘Taxes drove me to my doom…’

When he’s gone, do not relax, It’s time to apply Inheritance Tax!

(h/t WWFC)

'The Bugle' cocks it up...

As to be expected, there was uproar at the Sodden Prickney Village Council meeting last Thursday, when it was discovered that an article in The Bugle had been altered to give a completely different interpretation of Cllr Basil Kalashnikov's address at the village fete, back in the Summer.

What was printed, was under the heading, 'Bollocks to the Sods', where in fact, what he'd actually said, was, 'Both Councillor Baggage and I are happy to introduce  new reports on the local football team in the village, which is known colloquially to many as 'The Sods'. The village purchase of the strip will include boots and lots of socks!

PC Lumbersnatch has been informed, but as he is away having a 'gentleman's inconvenience' operation, there is some delay, not to say confusion, as to why the interference in the actual oration by Cllr Kalashnikov was actually mis-reported, so a committee, consisting of Cllrs Molestrangler, Newt, Iodine, Flange, D'Artagnan-Minge, Trumpet and Groat has been assembled to get to the bottom of the issue, or  rather just above the hem of Edwina Baggage's Janet Regers! 

Cllr Baggage has been summoned to the council to explain the reasons why her reporting was so blatantly 'bicyclist', and how on earth the mistake had been made, when both Ms Baggage and her Editor, Wing Commander Largely-Knobbs RAF (Retd.), are keen protaganists of the sport, which also entails several measures of Glenmorangie before the event, and a Castella afterwards! The date for the dressing-down has not been set yet, as the committee has decided to do more investigation, possibly because Cllr Baggage refuses to listen to anyone who even mentions the obfuscation, and therefore, nobody will probably ever be responsible for a satisfactory outcome of what has been unequivocal pandemonium in the tangible microcosm of such a small village!

Old Hackney 'post'...

This is all explained in detail in the main story, and a bit of a shocker, but the few pics here describe another time pretty well...

https://spitalfieldslife.com/2018/05/25/the-hackney-whipping-post-x/

In the comments, 1962 was mentioned as the last time it was used, so all I can say is 'Hellfire'...

H/T Spitalfields Life