It had been ages since I'd met my oldest friends in the neighbourhood, Gloriette and Elias Sagtrouser, for one very good reason; 'The Bells' has been closed for some time, as the previous landlord finished up in court after letting in the pikeys, and also allowing them to continue drinking until 1.00am, when PC Lumbersnatch decided that enough was enough and raided the place with the help of Policewoman Fyre-Cracquer! So the old place had been bereft of customers for some time, as the owners couldn't find a tenant, and as I had no need for any concrete bollards, or brass screws at his Builders Merchants, we'd not bumped into each other recently!
But a few days ago, after posting my Christmas thank-you letters, I noticed the huge 4 x 4 parked outside the saloon of the newly-re-opened pub, and couldn't resist a quick peek into the bar. Once Gloriette had seen me and waved furiously, Elias came over with a huge paw extended, and led - or rather forced me - to the bar where a huge hug and several pecks with Gloriette completed the mission of seeing my great friends again!
After a few inconsequential comments about Christmas, I mentioned that Elias must be glad to be back selling building materials at high speed, which was his custom, and he agreed that it was indeed the case that the customary ten days of boredom away from building sites had meant that he was on the verge of going out and actually building something himself, just to justify the position he was in, but as Gloriette had told him in no uncertain terms, that he should enjoy the few days in the year that they ever have off, he'd damned well make the most of them with good grace, and several bottles of Chateau bottled red wine!
As is usual, after Elias had offered his card to the new landlord for refills all round, he immediately launched into a frightening story of an incident which occurred on the second day back at work.
His company is supplying the development of a large office block in the town, and while Elias doesn't sell ready-mixed concrete, he arranges for the deliveries through an agent, as there's a lot of timing to be considered so that the stuff arrives at any particular time. There had been some considerable rainfall over the Bank Holiday. and the site was awash with mud and debris, such that the concrete lorries were having a hard time negotiating the site easily. There was a tower crane hoisting various items all over the site, and one of its jobs was to lower its hook close to the area where the concrete lorries were trying to move around, so the crane driver offered to help when a lorry actually got stuck!
Elias actually became serious at this point, and I wondered if there might have been some repercussions with his involvement, but Gloriette winked at me, so I naturally felt a bit better, because a wink from my dear lovely friend sends shivers just about everywhere on my physical being!
Elias went on to tell me that the lorry driver's mate had leapt out of the cab, and attached the hook of the crane to the back of the concrete truck, so it could be lifted clear of the deep puddle of mud which had engulfed the back wheels! All went well for a short while, and the lorry struggled clear of the quagmire and slowly headed for the gate, with the hook still attached to its rear.
Now, said Elias, nobody understood what actually happened next, but somehow the driver, seeing his mate jump into his cab, assumed that he was free of the hook from the crane!
But he wasn't...
The lorry began to trudge forward to the site entrance, and there was a sudden shriek from the site's emergency hooter that something was amiss, so work immediately stopped! And it was just as well that work did stop, as the lorry was half-way out of the gate, with the crane's cable still attached, and getting quite taut to say the least! The consequences would have been catastrophic!
Elias admitted that his agent had been on site at that moment, and had turned a blind eye to the health and safety issues concerning the 'hoist', and after offering several bollockings, and a few well-chosen words to the unfortunate man, who had at least seen what was happening and pressed the alarm before rushing out to wave down the lorry, the incident was quietly swept aside, thank goodness!
My third pint of Sheps' 'Winter Bastard' 6.3% ABV shook slightly at the thought of a hundred-foot crane crashing down on a site full of carpenters, brickies, and various Portacabins, and decided that it was perhaps better to be retired from all that, and lead a quieter life with my dog and some plans for the garden...
