Scroblene...
Lots of mentions for good chums and family, comment on politicians' failure, more fun than seriousness and tinctures for all...
Sunday, 15 December 2024
Tales from Christmases past...
Sunday, 8 December 2024
After all this time...
Wednesday, 27 November 2024
A garden centre not called Alta Rica...
"Well, here's a turn up for the books - I only wish I knew which comic it was", as Rachel Reeve's boss might have exclaimed when she was promoted to Senior Stapler Monitor at Sodden Prickney's village sub-branch visiting caravan on the 'Basil Kalshnikov Field of Glory" car-park, (2.00pm - 4.00pm, Wednesdays and Thursdays)!
Yes, the Earth has moved, Saturn is in the Despondent, Mars has Groils for each strumlical legend, and Jupit...(get on with it - Ed), and Scrobs has started partaking of coffee again!
Yup, it is a new era!
Some years ago, around March 2015, Senora O'Blene and I had taken to the habit of visiting a large garden centre just outside Tunbridge Wells. They were in the process of refurbishing and extending, and like a lot of them now, they were intruducing the through-wave of having to walk round every single section, to arrive, tired and exhausted at the exit with a plastic gnome, some fake snow, and a pot plant of dubious quality, but at least it had Latin name!
One day, the GC decided that all loyalty card members could have a free cup of coffee, which was normally a couple of quid, and as we'd been there for some time, buying an electric fence cable, some barbed wire for the garage roof and the plans for an air raid shelter, we decided to succumb to their brand new speciality coffee, which had some sort of Italian name, but I can't remember it.
Resting tired rear paws against a blue plastic-sided raised rose garden, I risked a sip of the stuff, then another...
At that monent, I gave up drinking coffee for nearly ten years! It was utterly disgusting, with a sour, unpleasant smell coming from a turgid grey/brown slurry surrounded by a rather weird looking foam which seemed to creep everywhere over the cup, down the sides and dangerously close to Senora O'Blene's handbag! The taste was nothing like coffee at all, and was downright foul!
It wasn't worth complaining, it went to feed the plastic roses, and we left soon afterwards, with me quietly exhibiting the occasional shiver and whimper! I haven't touched a drop since then, well, one very small Gold Blend, but it just reminded me of the nasty stuff!
So there you have it! Coffee has just made a comeback today, as several dietary issues demand a bit more diversity, and that goes for drinks etc., as a scoop of chemo every three weeks for myeloma makes partaking of comestibles go somewhat awry, but we're winning, and thanks to Mr Alta Rica, it's been an even better day!
Tuesday, 19 November 2024
A new era, and hope for the residents of our favourite village...
Friday, 1 November 2024
Down - and up - the tube...
Chatting with ED last evening about this and that, she came up with the sort of fact that you hear, and somehow want to marvel at, but for no other reason, than it's just, 'very/quite/somewhat 'interesting'!
In a previous life, she used to travel extensively in Europe, and usually went by Eurostar from here. It was much easier for her, as they lived in London, so the terminal was not far away.
As the train would slide into the tunnel, she was in the habit of turning on whatever musical extravaganza was available at the time, and playing the classic song - still one of my absolute favourites - 'Supper's ready'...
Apparently, the length of the song, which is one whole side of the album 'Foxtrot', is almost exactly twenty-three minutes, and from going into the tunnel to getting out the other end was the exact duration of the trip, give or take the occasional puncture! So she would emerge near Calais just as the...
'Lord of Lords, King of Kings, has returned to lead his children home, to take them to the new Jerusalem'!
Sometimes these revelations just need recording!
Friday, 25 October 2024
That election, yet again...
There was, as usual, some confusion surrounding the election of Sodden Prickney Parish Council's new Chairman, mainly because the current incumbent, Cllr. Basil Kalashnikov, had barricaded himself into the small store room next to the ladies' convenience, and was refusing to come out!
It is a well-known fact, (Are you sure? - Ed), that the store room was often used for shenanigans of a Ugandan nature, especially when Cllr. Edwina Baggage (Bicycling Correspondent on 'The Bugle'), was attending the meetings, and the sounds of much joyous rapture were inclined to affect the concentration of other members of the committee, including Cllr. Ron Groat, who often availed himself of the facilities there, especially when his usual squeeze, Miss Amelia Newt was away visiting an elderly relative, and he always had a notion that Cllr. Cynthia Molestrangler fancied him something rotten!
So, voting in the new Chairman wasn't going to be easy, especially as Cynthia had her eye on the job, and was canvassing - indeed, even beseeching, (so that's what it's called - Ed), all and sundry to vote for her, but the general impression was that she had an irritating cackle, was never able to hold her brief, (Plural?- Ed), and while reckoned to be in the exalted position of chairing a sub-committee dealing with the bicycle shed repairs, which was normally Ms Baggage's occupation, the complete 'job' of running a well-oiled council wasn't really an option worth considering beyond the fatuous!
Cllr. Norman Wibble was also throwing his hat in the ring, which surprised everybody, as his ability to remember even the most recent discussion was reckoned to be irremediable, so, as he'd once had the job in 1954, comparisons, and denials had to be made, and his doctor informed! Dr Norbert Iodine agreed that Cllr. Wibble had in fact begun to lose various marbles, but as far as he was concerned, he couldn't be arsed to find out which ones!
Of course, the front runner for the job was Cllr. Sid Trumpet, on account of the fact that he had the most money, was deeply enamoured by, with and from Edwina Baggage, for his style, fortitude and longevity, (that explains a lot - Ed), and he also thought that Cllr. Basil Kalshnikov was as useless as an inflatable dartboard!
P.C.Lumbersnatch had also been alerted to the possibilities of computer-based voting fraud, which was becoming quite a problem in the locality, what with Cllr. Ron Groat's machine being impounded and investigated quite recently. The truth of the matter, was that the village forensic team, (Master Chimney Sweep Wally Nobbling's son, Adrian), had discovered quite a few items of interest, including several bookmarks for Janet Reger sites, presumably to appease most of the other ladies on the committee, who had been 'bookmarked' under a special file - some had been bookmarked already several times apparently, so a quandary was established, which hopefully escaped the diverse collection of nerve endings which served as a brain for our erstwhile constable!
Thus, the election was still in the balance, but it was reckoned by the Chief Reporter on 'The Bugle', Arthur Narg, MBE, that Cllr. Trumpet would be elected once they'd found the key to the store cupboard next to the ladies convenience, and been able to tell Cllr. Kalashnikov to clear his pigeon hole and await instructions...
Friday, 18 October 2024
Les bolleaux de le chien...
Scrobs' ability to knock up a reasonable lunch took on a new phase this week!
Back in the Spring, we bought an air fryer for a couple of reasons, one, that our oven was not that efficient, being quite a small machine, which does what it says on the box, but gets pretty murky, so while a Karcher Jetwash could be the answer, the resulting fire from an electrical short-out might not go down so well, and two, I'd heard from chums that a new-fangled fryer could be the answer to most of the basic culinary conundrums being faced at the time! Elder Daughter convinced me that to buy one was a good first step up to Jamie Oliver standards!
The first machine wasn't half bad, being almost an 'entry-level' bit of kit, but like most items, you get what you pay for, and timing is of the essence where such efficiency is required in minutes on some cooking periods. The timer was a wind-up clock type, and just recently, was becoming erratic on the crucial final five minutes of cooking, and continually opening and shutting the drawer to check things, let all the hot air out, and made the issue worse!
After five months, I thought I should be able to do better than this, and my current favourite Argos Store thankfully agreed, so I chopped it in for a refund, and bought a bigger and better one!
Hence the post-title...