That election, yet again...

There was, as usual, some confusion surrounding the election of Sodden Prickney Parish Council's new Chairman, mainly because the current incumbent, Cllr. Basil Kalashnikov, had barricaded himself into the small store room next to the ladies' convenience, and was refusing to come out! 

It is a well-known fact, (Are you sure? - Ed), that the store room was often used for shenanigans of a Ugandan nature, especially when Cllr. Edwina Baggage (Bicycling Correspondent on 'The Bugle'), was attending the meetings, and the sounds of much joyous rapture were inclined to affect the concentration of other members of the committee, including Cllr. Ron Groat, who often availed himself of the facilities there, especially when his usual squeeze, Miss Amelia Newt was away visiting an elderly relative, and he always had a notion that Cllr. Cynthia Molestrangler fancied him something rotten!

So, voting in the new Chairman wasn't going to be easy, especially as Cynthia had her eye on the job, and was canvassing - indeed, even beseeching, (so that's what it's called - Ed), all and sundry to vote for her, but the general impression was that she had an irritating cackle, was never able to hold her brief, (Plural?- Ed), and while reckoned to be in the exalted position of chairing a sub-committee dealing with the bicycle shed repairs, which was normally Ms Baggage's occupation, the complete 'job' of running a well-oiled council wasn't really an option worth considering beyond the fatuous!

Cllr. Norman Wibble was also throwing his hat in the ring, which surprised everybody, as his ability to remember even the most recent discussion was reckoned to be irremediable, so, as he'd once had the job in 1954, comparisons, and denials had to be made, and his doctor informed! Dr Norbert Iodine agreed that Cllr. Wibble had in fact begun to lose various marbles, but as far as he was concerned, he couldn't be arsed to find out which ones!

Of course, the front runner for the job was Cllr. Sid Trumpet, on account of the fact that he had the most money, was deeply enamoured by, with and from Edwina Baggage, for his style, fortitude and longevity, (that explains a lot - Ed), and he also thought that Cllr. Basil Kalshnikov was as useless as an inflatable dartboard!

P.C.Lumbersnatch had also been alerted to the possibilities of computer-based voting fraud, which was becoming quite a problem in the locality, what with Cllr. Ron Groat's machine being impounded and investigated quite recently. The truth of the matter, was that the village forensic team, (Master Chimney Sweep Wally Nobbling's son, Adrian), had discovered quite a few items of interest, including several bookmarks for Janet Reger sites, presumably to appease most of the other ladies on the committee, who had been 'bookmarked' under a special file - some had been bookmarked already several times apparently, so a quandary was established, which hopefully escaped the diverse collection of nerve endings which served as a brain for our erstwhile constable!

Thus, the election was still in the balance, but it was reckoned by the Chief Reporter on 'The Bugle', Arthur Narg, MBE, that Cllr. Trumpet would be elected once they'd found the key to the store cupboard next to the ladies convenience, and been able to tell Cllr. Kalashnikov to clear his pigeon hole and await instructions...

Les bolleaux de le chien...

Scrobs' ability to knock up a reasonable lunch took on a new phase this week!

Back in the Spring, we bought an air fryer for a couple of reasons, one, that our oven was not that efficient, being quite a small machine, which does what it says on the box, but gets pretty murky, so while a Karcher Jetwash could be the answer, the resulting fire from an electrical short-out might not go down so well, and two, I'd heard from chums that a new-fangled fryer could be the answer to most of the basic culinary conundrums being faced at the time! Elder Daughter convinced me that to buy one was a good first step up to Jamie Oliver standards!

The first machine wasn't half bad, being almost an 'entry-level' bit of kit, but like most items, you get what you pay for, and timing is of the essence where such efficiency is required in minutes on some cooking periods. The timer was a wind-up clock type, and just recently, was becoming erratic on the crucial final five minutes of cooking, and continually opening and shutting the drawer to check things, let all the hot air out, and made the issue worse!

After five months, I thought I should be able to do better than this, and my current favourite Argos Store thankfully agreed, so I chopped it in for a refund, and bought a bigger and better one!

Hence the post-title...

I'd never given much thought to the fact that Tefal is a French company, or rather, I never spent much time wondering where all the fabulous frying pans they make come from, but this new beast may well take the place of so much kit in the kitchen, I'll have to re-think the whole layout now...

For a start, the TV is going, as the last time I watched it was when Senora O'Blene used to banish me from the lounge to watch the rugby, as I made too much noise yelling at the screen, and she wanted to read a book! That would have been around the World Cup days!

I've found countless diaries, old recipes, receipts, instruction leaflets for long-busted items, and a packet of very attractive printed kitchen roll we bought in Italy about twenty years ago!

I've road-tested the machine already, and am pleasantly surprised that the action is superb, quiet and easy to work with the digital display making immediate sense!

Le chien is definitely in the ascendance...

Allow yourself the luxury of thinking...

Allow yourself the luxury of thinking...

I've just made that title up!

As chums here know, issues are desolate with not seeing and hearing my darling wife here any more. I can cope in various ways, including, most importantly, with chatting  with Elder Daughter, (who used to be ED in past posts), and a laugh and a recipe for tomorrow's lunch is the norm)!

But things move on! I make things, design improbable artifacts, buy less food, walk Lily with a vengeance, and she is an adorable dog, with a loyalty span the size of the Russian states!

But while tinctures are quite an interesting issue here, the norm never exceeds the necessity, and during those minutes, 'thinking' sets in...!

I can redesign the whole house, consider a new car, wonder about a new electric bike, forget a new electric bike, and ponder how I can create something from some oak off-cuts which lurk in a chum's garage just down the road, etc., etc., 

Salvador Dali once said that he could have a few tilts at the old Cava, sit in a comfortable chair, holding a huge brass key in one hand, and drift off to sleep.

Just as he was relaxing into the arms of alcoholic oblivion, his hand would relax, he'd drop the key with a clang, wake up, and immediately start sketching, while the myriad of impossible visions swirled around his fertile brain, and his pictures would emerge!

So the Telegraph Crossword supplies the extra brain exertion, Sudoku helps the other side, planning next year's garden is in its infancy, but the ideas are already in place, and I've just done something I thought I'd never do! I've arranged for a gardener to come and give our hedges a very severe haircut, such that I can control them for the next dozen years or so, and about £300.00 will be a satisfactory expenditure, as I've thought long and hard, and now realise I can't do them on my own anymore!

So that's what thinking does for you...