Monday, 4 December 2023

The football racket...

During dry weekends, there's a sort of baying sound coming from the football field a couple of hundred yards away. It means that the game has started...

I don't really mind it much, because, after all, I used to turn out on a Saturday but made a smaller noise, rather like muscles being stretched, legs being bent the wrong way, the occasional tearing of the blood-soaked shirt etc., but that's rugby for you!

One issue I have though, is the way that every player on both sides starts yelling and shrieking from the whistle! Up close it is a cacophony of curses, yelps, and worst of all, the awful bedlam coming from one player, who is possibly the captain, as he keeps it up for the whole eighty minutes!

A good friend near here is a rugby correspondent for a national newspaper, and he writes particularly well too! I'd like to think that the following statement describes Mr Noisy in the most acceptable way for readers...

"Team Captain Sid Bloggs continually displays a gutteral, staccato monotone of 'advice', assuming a surmised managerial presence in some imagined state of the moronic interrogative"!

There - what about that!

2 comments:

  1. I bet you can tell when a goal is scored and which side scored it. A roar when it's the home team and silence when it's the other lot.

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  2. You're absolutely right, AK!

    They get about twenty spectators and they're nearly as bad, but not as bad as the bloody 'captain'...

    I think it's universal, and the village equivalent of a national team match where the manager keeps leaping out of his funny little cage, and starts berating everyone who bothers to listen!

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