So it's official!
The race to become Chairman of Sodden Prickney Parish Council has begun in earnest! In a few week's time, Norman Wibble and Cynthia Molestrangler will know who gets the keys to the village hall, well, in fact so will everyone else, as the final two Councillors in the vote are Ron Groat and Amelia Newt!
It's been a dirty campaign so far, partly due to the lack of cleaners in the village, and Dr Norbert Iodine's dog continuing to bring his collection of fleas into the committee room! But apart from that, the dramatic exit of Edwina Baggage, who played a blinder in the run-up to the debate by appearing in a German uniform and slapping her jackboot with a swagger-stick, and Len Belch, who forgot to turn up for the public debate (attended by seven villagers), with the chairman, PC Lumbersnatch, it looks as though there's a possibility that Basil Kalashnikov will lock himself in the broom-cupboard and refuse to come out!
There is evidence of this, by virtue of an electric bull-horn being attached to the 13amp plug by the water dispenser, through which the standard bellowed recourse of "Sod everybody", will be heard before the door is smashed down by PC Lumbersnatch and his Sergeant, and the offending machine, plus Mr Kalashnikov will be admitted to cell No 4 down at the station!
It's all slightly worrying for the village, as up to now, bugger-all has been done about anything, and if Ron and Ms Newt (Ron's Sunday squeeze) have to battle it out, one of them is certainly going to withdraw those special favours until the next chairman has to be appointed, probably in a few week's time!
I blame Sexit, the Sodden Prickney independence movement which has nothing to do with activities in the broom-cupboard.
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely right, AK!
ReplyDeleteEdwina did everything she could to take over the keys to the broom cupboard, only to be thwarted (euphemism), by Dr Norbert Iodine who fancies Cynthia Molestrangler like crazy!
'Thwarting' has become quite common these days, and Ron started it all those years ago, when he was trying to get Amelia into the back seat of his Wolseley!