Just flicking through a few of the normal online rags, like the Telegraph, Express and Mail, Scrobs spied more than several instances of minor slebs, very minor 'royals' and lots of unknown TV hangers-on, all making the same vacant self-important grimace as they are snapped with a thing the size of a 1950s TV set glued to their ears!
I invented an anti-chugger device using a small phone some years ago, when walking up a Canterbury thoroughfare, and spying the inevitable clown antics of some early form of Prickstinction Fatbellian escapaders, still fresh from school, leaping about and trying to engage normal people to listen to a stream of twaddle, I just placed my phone to my ear, and was never, ever bothered!
I think the issue is now one of International importance, as the said individuals who desire poorly constructed pictures of themselves apparently talking in 'serious voices' to non-disclosed similar nonentities, have stolen my future!
My next few years will be spent in penury, because I couldn't raise the cash to make a patent of this activity, and cast its comparison with Bookface or Twotter onto greater things!
Bugger!
I like the anti-chugger device. At the moment I just avoid eye contact which seems to work quite well, although just being old seems to work reasonably well too.
ReplyDeleteI think most of them have been banished from the streets now, Mr H.
ReplyDeleteI use my mobile telephonic device about half a dozen times a year - that's when I can find it...
It has a dial on it and is made from black Bakelite!
AK, eye-contact with these sad muppet people is virtually impossible because they are permanently glued to their mobbies, as is shaking hands because their digits are all a-tremble in anticipation to respond to the caller in whatever way they feel appropriate.
ReplyDeleteAs for the professionally serious and self-important voice when responding to said call is worth a thesis in itself as to how certain people regard the world we live in, and what's more important is do they really care? In my early days my Dad made me have elocution lessons which wasn't the best thing when we moved oop north, but I ended up with two voices. One is just my normal way of speaking and the other is a more formal one I sometimes use when needed.
Next time you go into town, just look up and you may see all sorts of things on the tops of various buildings, or just watch where you're walking in case said muppet can't see the wood for the trees!
Like Monty Python, I sometimes answer in a measured, considered tone, or in a high-pitched whiney sort of shriek, not unlike Joromy Corrobin's 'answer' to the budget speech.
ReplyDeleteThe Muppets were so clever, they really took over from the dimbos who actually think they're clever.
I heard Crorhorrible's speech which sounded like a mixture of a very flea-infected dog scratching an already sore bum with unclipped claws, and a rabbit suddenly caught in the headlights trying to make some sort of pathetic excuse to its mum for not knowing better. Just can't wait to see the new Muppets series 'cause we could do with a good laugh or several!
ReplyDeleteYes, he looked like a worn-out old chap, whining and whingeing constantly about issues he has never really understood.
ReplyDelete