Sodden Prickney Parish Council
Notice of Election
The following candidates will be standing for erection (shouldn't that be Election - Ed)...at around dinner time on June 8th 2017: -
Kalashnikov - Basil Islington Aloysius - Local Lobster Party
Molestrangler - Cynthia Snythiea Janetreger - Sodden’s Suffragettes
Newt - Amelia Celia Ophelia - Justice for Newts party
Groat - Ronald Bumhole - Justice for Ron Party
Trumpet - Sidney Charles Larkin - The winner by a long chalk party
Wibble - Norman Herbert Albert Norbert Gilbert - Generosity for old farts party
Baggage - Edwina Maserati Bicyclette Golikeatrain - Allow sex on trains party
Billary - Florrie Doris Mavis - Swivellers anonymous party
Clinchton - Willy Endaway Table-ender - Alwaysinthekitchenwiththerestofthem party
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I, Simcox Corbyn Reichstaffenbendercrimplene O’Blene hereby announce the results of the election of Sodden Prickney Parish council as follows: -
Molestra...(don’t be so bloody stupid man, we haven’t even had the election yet - Ed)
I give up. The idiot robot picture thingy will not let me in - even after 6 tries.
ReplyDeleteApparently some members of Sodden’s Suffragettes are joining the Allow sex on trains party. Having seen a few of them I think I know why.
ReplyDeleteTry again...
ReplyDeleteDear Herr Reichswhatnot,
I am writing to say that I have just received a request from one Ms P Sox who has asked if the various personifestos of the different candidates could be published urgently so that careful consideration may be given to upcoming decisions.
Oh, she also said: "Please also ask that the Molestrangler woman to return the overdue copy of the Kama Sutra to the library as that is the only copy they have".
I am happy to pass on these requests, but I must say that my preference would be for Ms Baggage, but I shall only cast my vote for her if she adds :Stuffing your face with greasy, smelly burgers as the train leaves the station: to her womanifesto.
I was going to vote for young Sidney, but some female talking head on the telly has just informed me that a group of eminent psychologists or psychiatrists (or similar psychobabbelists) has just declared him to be a dangerous unbridled megalomaniac, so that does raise concerns about the development behind Tesco's car park. Decisiions, decisions!
Yours anxiously
A Local Resident
Reevers, just to let you know that I got your message as an email to my account!
ReplyDeleteI've absolutely no problem with that, but I can't see why it doesn't appear here!
Anyway, thank you my friend!
If it doesn't appear, I'll cut and paste it here so our other chum can also grin and laugh...
Reevers, it went in the spam box!
ReplyDeleteHere (above) it is in its full glory...
ReplyDeleteHi Scrobs
Thanks. I did wonder what had happened. No idea why/how it ended up in your email box! I had very dark thoughts that some snowflake had been offended by my innocent "humour" and it had simply been binned!
Glad to note that that sea-faring blondy across the Channel seems to have done quite well yesterday. But you can always count on les grenouilles to do it wrong second time round. Dommage...
You will never ever be binned, Reevers!
ReplyDeleteI rely on good chums like you to make me feel wanted in this dark world...
BTW, Le Pen is the winner in this household. Love her to bits!