Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the Serpentine in Hyde Park.
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it.'
'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?'
'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Croc.
'Hmm... Well, where do you catch them?'
'Down the other side of the lake near the Houses of Parliament.'
'Same here. Hmm... How do you catch them?'
'Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!'
'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there's nothing left but an arsehole and a briefcase.'
Sorry to butt in so early, but this; (not only this track of course) is a recent music streamer, which is pretty good...
ReplyDeleteNow, back to the crocs...
Excellent!
ReplyDeleteI will re-tell that one.
One hears similar stories about bankers too these days! En passant, do these people carry croc skin briefcases or wear shoes of similar material?
ReplyDeletere the music, I seem to recall the catholic puritan wing were up in arms when this was originally released because of the sexual undertones implied therein. Much better on an old style seaside cartoon postcard methinks.
Good one, Scrobs :-D
ReplyDeleteAnd Rhythm Stick - classic!
Reevers - the catholic puritan wing could find sexual undertones eating a fig.
Totally, utterly, completely and unquestionably off topic, but I thought that you might all like something to play with over the weekend and to distract you from the thought of a crocodile infested Hyde Park and naughty double-entendre songs.
ReplyDeleteThe "in" word at the moment in high political circles seems to be "chump".
Now, when I was an tiny tot, I had a book of "things to do on a rainy afternoon when you are stuck indoors out in the sticks".
One of the items which has remained with me for the better part of 60 years was the word "chump".
If you write it very carefully in your best (ie upright, no slanting) 7-year old handwriting (ie no looping on the "h" or "p) and then turn it upside down, guess what it reads?
I leave others to comment on the inverted political consequences to the UK of this discovery.
I'm sure they do - in private - Reevers...
ReplyDeleteIt appears that their style of garb now preferred, is much more casual.
As for the song, it was high in the charts in 1978, when we were all having a bit of a rough time at home, with Mrs S being very ill, and several more things going wrong (like having to be away from them all on a course) and upsetting the equilibrium...
But that was all kicked through, and all to the sound of Ian Dury, whom I admired for his guts too!
(see Scrobs posts passim re bass guitar...)!
Funny you should mention 'Chump' Reevers, I'd half noticed that too. I think it's a Nulab spinner's word re-coined so that when Brown is ditched, there'll be a 'kind' word for him and his bunch of crooks amongst all the foul language...
ReplyDeleteThanks Lakes!
ReplyDeleteBe my guest!
FYI, Calfy blogging from Syria at
ReplyDeletehttp://patelline.wordpress.com/2009/09/30/veg/
Politicians! Do you cook 'em or do you eat 'em raw?
ReplyDeleteMany thanks Elbey!
ReplyDeleteComment now plonked on site...
Agree Killers - that word presumes that the listener is not up to understanding anything, and, it was used by the Big Bliar himself many times!
ReplyDeleteI like the word 'Chump', It was a regular name teacher's called kids in the fifties too...
Mutters,
ReplyDeleteIf Kinnock hadn't caused me terminal kebab hatred, I think I'd have done that to all of them.
But he did.
I would have voted for Smith.
ReplyDelete