An elixir, or just a mixer...

One particular topic has been under discussion this week, concerning one of the most vital commodities one requires on a daily basis, and has attributes which are dreamed and crafted in paradise, and consumed on our humble earth!

You will know, of course, that it is Tonic Water - as if it could be anything else, like manna from heaven, the elixir of life itself, the blessin...(Get on with it - Ed), and a serious question arose from a conversation with Daughter the other day!

Gin and tonic is a staple in these parts! We have a myriad of grocers which sell countless brands of gin, and the profession of designing and producing this spirit is becoming a burgeoning and bustling trade! We are lucky around here, that we have companies who actually make the stuff, and we spent a very happy day at one of their talks, which also entailed coming away with countless bottles, sample tasters and several of their own brand glasses!

But one anomaly remains - does one keep one's tonic in the fridge?

So this is the quandary! It's been bugging us for weeks, and we still haven't concluded the answer!

Daughter has always maintained that several cubes of ice, a dash of lemon or lime - or a slice of cucumber, and at least a double measure of gin (50ml), with a triple amount of tonic, (150ml), creates the perfect mix, and that is why one buys these little cans of Schweppes, which have to be full-fat! 

But does one keep the tonic in the fridge, or outside somewhere like the garage or the shed? They easily fit in the egg rack of any fridge door, so the problem could be solved that way! I'm very keen on tonic with orange squash as a refreshing rehydrator for breakfast, so I always have a litre in the fridge door! I never bother to measure it out in my special glass, which takes exactly 330ml full to the brim, so never work out how much I need of each part of the cocktail, but the query remains, is a G&T better for a near freezing tonic or not?

I really don't know, so answers below please, and maybe Daughter and I can then discuss the issues again on Sunday evening, at 6.00pm!

Funnies whatever...

1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.

3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.

4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.

5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.

7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.

8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.

9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.

10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"

11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.

13. I run like the winded.

14. I hate it when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.

15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"

16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."

19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.

20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.

ReevesKia's reign of terror...

So it's going to happen now...

Two-Tier Kia has decided, with Reeves, that most pensioners will not be receiving any of the benefit introduced by Blair, to help him keep the elderly vote, and also keep them warm through the winter months!

Apart from the nasty deceit of keeping his plans very, very quiet during the July election, Kia's government has voted on the issue, and only a few Labour members were against it. Most of the Labour lot will therefore welcome the flak that they are certainly going to get over the coming months - and years, as this decision will cost them dearly, first at the locals next May, and thereafter in all the by-elections.

Luckily, Scrobs will stay afloat - and warm - this winter, through the generosity of friends and businesses who have spare pallets, old logs, construction cast-offs etc., and these are all safe in the wood shed, and I won't have to buy any more coal, other than the load I got at the end of last season, when prices drop anyway!

I'm by no means getting smug about countering all this cheating from Labour. I just tried to make hay while the sun shone, and for three years, this has been my policy, as nobody else is going to help us with the cost of coal and logs! Everything had to be chopped or sawn, and I got warm that way also!

Labour have just cheated millions of pensioners, and it has to be their premise that the elderly won't probably vote for them, even if their grandads and grandmas did, and also most of them will have died before the next election, so who cares? The manic stupidity of the net-zero scam will certainly come home to roost come the winter too! I'm betting on the first pensioners dying in freezing rooms around the beginning of December, when the Christmas adverts are in full flow. That'll help make the headlines a damned sight grimmer than the cost of chucking our money, (taxes) at foreign countries to 'help them achieve 'green' issues'!

One question I  do have though, is where are all the luvvies in acting, music, theatre etc., who rely on the elderly to watch and pay for their 'performances'? Yeah yeah, the kids won't  care as their mummies and daddies pay for the TV tax anyway, and Netflix and Amazon are a much better bet than the ancient, tired, wokey stuff relentlessly churned out by the BBC and the other big fat channels, but if the leftie bunch of  'celebs' want to pontificate to the masses, and yell about every part-time stand-in 'job' they've had, and then chucked it on Wikipedia for the world to see, are they going to come out and protest on our behalf to get the government to change their mind?

Haven't seen any signs yet - no doubt they're 'resting'...

Hoisin it for the houtput, not the hassets...

I've never been a huge fan of Chinese food, for some reason... I started on the basic Sweet and Sour Pork in the restaurant in Claremont, Hastings back in my formative drinking years in the sixties, when it was obligatory to soak up the several pints of bitter after they closed, and we had a spare hour before we went home...

And also, when the Senora and I were a team, working the weekend shift at flogging some retirement flats in Tunbridge Wells about twenty years ago, we were treated by the 'management' to a great Thai lunch somewhere in the town at Christmas, but that's about it!

However, I was recently given a carrier bag full of damsons, and I had to spend some time wondering what to do with about four pounds of the things, after giving some to chums around here! Advice from Daughter was that it might be worth a try at making a Chinese version of a 'fruit' hoisin - yet another comestible I'd heard of but didn't have a clue about!

We found a recipe online, (there are hundreds), and there we have it! Well over two pints of the sauce is either nestling in the pantry, or spread around friends, and what a difference it makes, after all these years of English versions of fried, roast, boiled, poached, steamed, barbecued chicken...